Beans, potatoes, carrots and broccoli. Buns and salad and potatoes and chicken.
The Change-Up
11.5s
Needs a lickin'. Dinner song. That's so not the dinner song. Well, I'm going to tell you what. You're going to go ahead and write me a dinner poem, and I'll belt that out after I choke this down. Let's fucking go.
The Change-Up
2.6s
Dinner song.
The Change-Up
2.3s
- Hello. - Mitch.
The Change-Up
6.7s
Tatiana. Hi, how are you? I'll be better in a minute after I fuck you raw.
The Change-Up
3.7s
What does that mean, you don't think you can fuck Tatiana? Because it...
The Change-Up
2.9s
That was Tatiana. She said she's going to fuck me raw.
The Change-Up
14.9s
Tatiana? Shit, that's right. That's my Tuesday night regular, right on schedule. You fuck that right for me, Dave. Took me a long time to reel this one in. I don't think I can do this. - What the fuck does that... - Hey, Dave! Hey, man! Dad, I smell a skunk. No, it's this, kid.
The Change-Up
7s
How long is it going to take State to approve it, then? - Three days... - Oh, God! - ...to three weeks. - Come on!
The Change-Up
5.6s
Okay, I'm going to fill that out right now. Then it needs to go to State. - State? - Yeah, to get approved.
The Change-Up
30.8s
But the problem is, now that he has everything, he can't turn it off. And he still wants more and more and a second house, and more kids, and a nicer car and anything that he thinks is going to make him happy. And so he just keeps working and he's not paying any attention to me. - And I'm miserable. - Oh, God. Because... I have huge feet. They're size 11.
The Change-Up
9.2s
But he's... You know his family, growing up... He had nothing, and so he was always looking over the fence because he wanted a better life.
The Change-Up
12s
And that's why he worked four jobs at once, so that he could put himself through school. And he's amazing. I mean, nobody can do that.
The Change-Up
23.9s
I always say that? Yeah. I always say that because it's true. Dave is a little bit of a pussy. I hope that when he makes partner, he can just finally stop and see... And be happy, you know? Because how can you stay married to somebody who is incapable of being happy?
The Change-Up
30.6s
Holy fuck-knuckles, I've got freckles on my taint. How awesome is that? Hey, fag, what are you doing here? Three days to three weeks? You left the kids at daycare? Come, on, Mitch! Those are my kids. I can't do this shit any more. No, no, no. You are going do this shit. You don't get off that easy. My marriage is falling apart, my job is on the line. You are going to be the best possible me you can be right now. Dave, you don't understand. I cannot do this. - Not even for another hour. - You're gonna do it. I don't care! You're going to stay here and do this right! Get out of my fucking way, or I'll drown you in your own goddamn tub!
The Change-Up
5s
And it's like you always say, Dave is a little bit of a pussy.
The Change-Up
10s
Easy, motherfucker! - If you leave now... - Get your hands off me. ...this friendship is over! Fuck you. Don't pull that shit on me. - I got to get the fuck out of here. - I'm serious, Mitch. Shut up! Jamie and the kids mean everything to me.
