Found 796 results

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11.5s
Guns hot? Are you kidding me? No, I'm not, lady. It's not going to happen tonight, okay? I'm not attracted to you. Rotate your turret and go night-night.

The Change-Up

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So it's like you have three balls. Dave has three balls. A bouquet of balls. Bad! Bad!

The Change-Up

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15.6s
What did you do? The woman is nine months pregnant! I could see the baby's face. I told you not to screw up my Tuesday night. Do you have any idea how many Lamaze classes I had to sit through to get that lined up? Is there a reason that you're calling me at 3:00 in the morning? Yeah, the dock worker is making me feed the twins. What do I do?

The Change-Up

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13.7s
Hey, Daddy, which one do you like better? The southern monarch or the many-spotted skipperling? I am a many-spotted skipperling man, all the way. The monarch is just a glorified moth, don't you think? Yes. I tend to agree.

The Change-Up

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Thank you so much.

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3.3s
Last week he told me my shoes were dangerously Italian. What?

The Change-Up

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He's early. Yeah, you'd be early, too, if all you did all day was eat hummus and masturbate. What's hummus? That is a Mediterranean spread, honey. What's master-ate? It's a cracker.

The Change-Up

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Not really.

The Change-Up

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3.7s
Okay. Bathed, diapered, and in the PJs.

The Change-Up

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11.8s
Mrs. Hickham at a Starbucks in Druid Hills. - Our social studies teacher? - Yeah. I asked her out and she wouldn't go out with me, which is crazy, because I nailed her in high school. - You did? - I dated her mouth for a full semester.

The Change-Up

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2.3s
- Yeah, I guess. - Good.

The Change-Up

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26s
Hey, Mitch. Your hair looks good. Thanks. Yeah, I had to cut it for a fucking tampon commercial. Uncle Mitch! How's my favorite ballerina doing? - Hi, Uncle Mitch. - Hi! Gosh, you're so light. Are you dieting? Do you want to come to my dance recital? No, honey. The only style of dancing that Uncle Mitch likes involves a big, shiny pole, and a broken woman with daddy issues.

The Change-Up

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8.1s
Vegetable medley! - How are you? - Good. - You're good? - Yeah. Are you dating anyone? - You know who I ran into? - Who?

The Change-Up

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Thank you.

The Change-Up

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11s
Honey... Don't even say that. I'm so sorry. I suck. Dr. Tillman said just once a week, for one hour. I'm sorry.

The Change-Up

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18.3s
That was three months ago. I know. I heard her. And I want to sit and talk with you for an hour more than once a week, but tonight, I cannot. Why? What are you doing? I promised Mitch I would sit and watch a game with him tonight, and... What? Can we please just slide the Dialogue Night again? I'm so sorry.

The Change-Up

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So where do you want to do this tonight? Do what?

The Change-Up

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17.8s
Hi. The zoning board shut us down for the millionth time. Dr. Klein lost the twins' immunization records. And Cara got bullied in ballet class again. Did you tell Daddy? Nicolette Peters keeps knocking me over during the battement glissé. I'm sorry, sugarbug. Are you okay?

The Change-Up