What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? Why can't they talk yet? Are they retarded or something? Don't say... You can't say that. Well, this one right here looks a little Downsy. - Or that. - I'm kidding. - A little bit, though? - No. Pumpkin, we'll see you right after the game, okay? Have fun.
The Change-Up
14.5s
This chick does not look happy. I was just saying that I really envy your life. - That's all. - I envy yours. No, you don't. You're just trying to be nice. I'm not. I do, I envy it. No. I envy yours. I wish I had your life.
The Change-Up
16.6s
And sex with strange, new women. You're living the dream. How much fun is it being an actor, working one week a year? I want to smoke weed all day. I want to start a book that I actually finish. I would like to take a nice, solid dump because I'm not constantly stressed out.
The Change-Up
16.3s
Look, shitbird. You got it made! You have an extremely hot wife, and you got a beautiful house that's full of furniture and food and kids. And you make a ton of money. And you come home at the end of the day and you're surrounded by people who give a shit about you.
The Change-Up
11.2s
You're never lonely. What more do you want? I'll tell you what I want, okay? I want something different. I want your life, you know? I want Sabrina. I want Tatiana.
The Change-Up
1.7s
I want to go home.
The Change-Up
4.4s
So, I'll have my briefs on your desk by lunch. That puts my balls on your chin by dinner.
The Change-Up
1.7s
- Ask Tommy. - Tommy!
The Change-Up
2.2s
Fuck me, she's cute.
The Change-Up
1.5s
Smells good in here, Jame.
The Change-Up
2.4s
I would like to strap you to my face and say the alphabet.
The Change-Up
25.7s
Hold on. You got to pick up Cara. Pick up Cara from ballet at 4:00, okay? I am fucking all over that shit. Holy shit. Early morning on the golf course, Lockwood? Terrific!
The Change-Up
6s
That's cool. Thank you, I think. Question. How long have you been shaved down there?
The Change-Up
7.4s
Did you hear the good news? Kinkabe and Amalgamated agreed to go into binding mediation in two days. Hold up. What do you mean? Two days?
The Change-Up
2.6s
Whose fucking kid is that?
The Change-Up
3.7s
No, you didn't!
The Change-Up
11.1s
- I got you. - Do what? I'm an actor. Human chameleon. I can do lawyer in my fucking sleep. Give me the keys. You'll play me in one of your productions? - Yeah, give me the keys. - Okay, no. - Why? - Because you're... Careful.
