What do you mean "girlfriends"? Was there a lot of them or something? No, that's not what she meant at all. Right, Lori? Lori, you didn't mean that. No, no,no.
Ted
4.9s
Why would you? I've been a really shitty boyfriend for the last four years. I don't deserve you.
Ted
7.8s
You know, you're never alone when you're with Christ. So, no, I'm not alone. Yeah. Me, too.
Ted
3.4s
Look, I'm going to cut the shit, here. Please.
Ted
1.7s
(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
Ted
1.2s
(GROANS)
Ted
1.5s
A-ah!
Ted
3.3s
Nice. Yeah. How are the neighbors?
Ted
10.2s
You know, Robert and I could give you a very, very good home. Yeah, I'm pretty happy where I am. I just got a shitty new apartment... I can offer you $6,000 in rail road bonds.
Ted
8.2s
And I promised myself that if I ever had a son, I would never, ever, ever say no to him.
Ted
3.5s
Baltic? Czech? Goodbye, Rex.
Ted
2.1s
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Ted
1.8s
I know you do, Johnny.
Ted
1.4s
You want a Xanax?
Ted
7.7s
Hey, Johnny, I just had a great idea. Let's go get drunk and puke on cars from the overpass. Come on, I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin.
Ted
1.3s
Yes!
Ted
11.6s
TED: Play Chopsticks, you jazzy slut. Teddy! (LAUGHS) How are you? How are you doing, you fuzzy little asshole? Well, I'm not a hot, half-Muslim chick who sold 37 million records, but I'm hanging in there.
Ted
14.6s
Look, I'm only saying this because I love you. You're not going to have any sort of career if you keep wasting time with Ted. Oh, jeez, here we go. Baby, please ask Ted to move out so we can move on with our lives. Lori, look, he's been my best friend since I was eight. I was not a popular child.
