Found 995 results
1m13s
You guys, you know what drives me crazy? - Genital warts? - What? - Genital warts. - No. Carla, no. No, w-w-what drives me crazy is the-is the pressure that we put on ourselves to make Christmas perfect, guys. Look, Christmas is supposed to be fun. Yes, why am I responsible for getting every gift for everyone in my entire family? I mean, just 'cause I'm a girl? - Yeah. - It's 2017! I thought so. Why can't my husband buy presents for his own mom? I don't even like his mom. She blames her farts on my kids. - What? - You know what I do? - With my big dumb son? - What? Every November, I just go into his room grab a bunch of random crap wrap it up, give it to him on Christmas. - He doesn't even notice. - Seriously? Oh, my God, I've given him the same baseball glove like nine times. And how lame are the gifts that your family gives you? I spend months picking out the perfect gift for everyone in my family and all I ever get is coupons for free back rubs. Oh, that's so wrong. You know what my son gave me last year for Christmas? A box of Ziploc baggies. Think I'll probably just wrap it up and give it back to him again this Christmas. You guys, I'm just like a-a-a giant stress ball from November to New Year's. I just wanna enjoy Christmas again. Yeah.
A Bad Moms Christmas
48.6s
Well, then let's do it. What? Guys, what is wrong with us? Have we learned nothing? This is bullshit. I am disappointed in this threesome. We are mothers. And if things are not going our way, then what do we do? We hide in the bathroom. - No. - No. No, we don't, we don't do that. - Uh-unh. - We s... No, we stand up. - And we fight back. - Fight back. Yes. So if we wanna do Christmas our way this year then we're gonna do Christmas our way. No more perfect gifts, no more perfect decorations no more perfect anything. - Fuck it. - Let's take Christmas back. Let's put the "ass" back. - In "Christm-ass." - What? That didn't come out exactly as I planned, but y-you guys get... - Yeah, we know what you meant. - Yeah, we get you. Okay, to taking Christmas back. Yes!
A Bad Moms Christmas
27.4s
Holy fuck. ♪ Out of all the reindeer ♪ ♪ You know you're the mastermind ♪ ♪ Run run Rudolph ♪ ♪ Randolph's not too far behind ♪ ♪ Run run Rudolph ♪ ♪ Santa's got to make it to town ♪♪ I can't do this shit sober. Me neither. You guys wanna get drunk at the food court? - Fuck yeah! - Yeah. - Come on. - Ooh, fun!
A Bad Moms Christmas
44.9s
Anyway, uh, my mom and I were gonna take the kids over to Sky Zone later. - Do you guys wanna come? - Legally... I can't get within 50 yards of a Sky Zone but... Okay, you know what? Fuck it. I'm totally in. - Amy? - Oh, I can't-I can't go. I wish I could, but my mother's making us go see "The Nutcracker." So... - I love "The Nutcracker." - Oh, no, no, no, no! Not like the Sugar Plum Fairy "Nutcracker." No, the original, the five-hour long version that's all in Russian, where a bunch of people die. It's-it's awful. - Why don't you just not go? - Oh, God, no. No, she would never let me live it down. It's much easier to do it this way. Guys, are we not taking Christmas back this year? - Yeah. - Hmm. I'm asking you that seriously 'cause I got so wasted at the mall, I can't remember if I actually said that or if that's just something that I'm dreaming about right now.
A Bad Moms Christmas
1m6s
My daughter thinks that I'm so hard on her. But she has no idea what I went through with my own mother. When I was 15, I got my ears pierced and she called me a whore. And sent me away to boarding school. - In Croatia. - Croatia? - Now, that is a hard woman. - Uh. - Where are you from, Isis? - I don't know, everywhere. I never met my parents. I basically just raised myself using my wits and my tits. Oh, wow. That sounds disgusting. No, dude, I was a roadie for REO Speedwagon for 15 years. Oh, um, Isis, you're not allowed to smoke cigarettes in here. It's okay. It's not a cigarette. - You want some? - No! Ahem! - You want some? - Uh, no, thank you. - Suit yourself. - So... Which church does everyone go to on Christmas Eve? Well, I always go to midnight mass at Our Mother of Perpetual Suffering. It's the premiere service in the city. - Great, I'll meet you there. - What? This is so nice. Making new friends. - Yeah. - You guys wanna play dodgeball? No, honey. Grandmas don't play dodgeball. - We should... - What the fuck did she say? She said, "Grandmas don't play dodgeball." I got it, but we play. We play. I'm in.
A Bad Moms Christmas
1m16s
- What up, lady? - Mom! What are you doing here? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm waiting for my daughter to give me a free manicure. - Free manicure, huh? - Yeah. Alright. Well, at least I'm not waxing your pussy. - Maybe next time. - Okay. So, what's up? You seein' anybody? Well, you know, there was a couple of things going with some dads from school. But it gets complicated. Plus, like, there is not a better time of the year to be single than Christmas. I mean, it's like, I go to the mall and I see these, you know, these couples walking around. And they're, they're, like, holding hands and... You know, wearing scarves and feeding each other sandwiches and lookin' at jewelry, you know... ♪ Every kiss begins with Kay ♪♪ - Alright, stop. Stop. - What? - You sound super lonely. - No! Babe, listen, the rock and roll lifestyle isn't for everybody. I'm still super rock and roll. I woke up in a park this morning. Carla. I found kale chips in your kitchen. - Okay, those are for my kid. - Right. They're healthy as fuck.
A Bad Moms Christmas