Duration: 3m0s

Hello, cue balls ! Welcome to the house of Payne. He's gotta be joking. The squad that lives together, wins together. Unity, turds. That is the key word in "unit," without the y. Tiger, Leland, you will reside at the R.O.T.C. buildin'. The rest of you garbage, grab a rack and settle in. grab a rack and settle in. Let's move out. You eyeball me again, I'll snatch it out and put it in Heathcoat's cookie bag. It's so damp. What about my allergies ? You know how far we are from the kitchen ? - Why can't I stay here ? - 'Cause I said so. Major Payne, sir. What ? Sir, I think I speak for everyone when I say that this place is... unacceptable, sir. Really ? Love my barracks night and day Love my barracks night and day Won't complain That's where I'll stay Won't complain That's where I'll stay - Good plan this time, Alex. - Why don't you shut up ? All right, my little patch of Brussels sprouts, uproot yourselves, climb out the pool and get some rest. You're gonna need it. Tomorrow, ladies, we gonna start the hard stuff. - The hard stuff ? Let's move it, you turds ! You'll get no sympathy from me ! You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis ! That's where you'll find my sympathy ! This ain't no walk in the park ! Move it ! Hustle, hustle ! Hey, Dumbo ! You should be able to fly through those tubes... - with them big-ass ears, boy ! - Yeah, Dumbo ! Fly, baby, fly ! Hey, Williams ! You tell Marlee Matlin's son... if he don't get across that rope, I'm gonna hang him with it ! He'll hang you with it ! Ha-ha-ha ! Heathcoat ! You get your fat body over that wall ! - Take your fat, pork chop body over that-- - You-- You shut up. Nobody's leavin' here until the average for this squad... is one minute, twenty seconds ! Come on, he can't do it ! Leave him alone. I can barely do it. It's slippery out here. Slippery, he say ! You think Charlie care anything about slippery ? Only thing he knows is slit your throat. What if this was a life or death situation ? But it's not a life or death situation. - It is now. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Come on, guys ! What, are you crazy ? It's just a dummy grenade. Come on, guys ! What, are you crazy ? It's just a dummy grenade.