The King of Staten Island
The King of Staten Island is a 2020 American comedy-drama film directed by Judd Apatow, from a screenplay by Apatow, Pete Davidson, and Dave Sirus. It stars Davidson, Marisa Tomei, Bill Burr, Bel Powley, Maude Apatow, and Steve Buscemi, and follows a young man who must get his life together after his mother starts dating a new man who, like his deceased father, is a firefighter. The film was announced as Apatow's next project in early 2019, with the cast joining that April. Filming took place around New York City in June and July. The film has been called a "semi-biographical" take on the life of Davidson, whose father was a New York City firefighter who died in service during the September 11 attacks and who has had his own battles with mental illness. Originally intended to be theatrically released in the United States, the film was released digitally via Premium VOD on June 12, 2020, by Universal Pictures. It received generally positive reviews from critics.
16.9s
You're full of shit, man. You're a fucking liar. I'm gonna go walk your kids. No, I'm not fucking letting you take 'em. Fuck you. Who the fuck are you? Yeah, I-I agree with you completely. Why... 'cause that... It was Ray's idea. I don't think I should be taking them, either. I agree with you.
The King of Staten Island
24.4s
So, your mom is banging my ex? Yeah, I'm not thrilled about it, either. Yeah, well, you shouldn't be. Harold. Kelly. Come here. Come here. There's something, something kind of fun. Come here. Come here. Oh, hey, man. So, this is Harold, and this is Kelly. And, uh, this is...
The King of Staten Island
30.9s
Scott. Scott. He's gonna be taking care of you. - Okay? It... - Nice to meet you, Scott. Hi, Harold. It's nice to meet you. For the very first time. If he does anything weird, you tell me. Even if he tells you not to tell me, you tell me. I'm pretty sure he's not weird, but I could be wrong. 'Kay? - Love you. - Okay. - Love you, Mom. - Seriously. Love you, Mom. Bye. Pay attention. Got it. Hold both their hands!
The King of Staten Island
1m8s
Oh, well, that's not gonna work. Why not? I could just use a hair dryer and ruin him. Keep thinking, though. What do you got? What do you like to do? - I like to sing. - You do? Could-could you sing for me? Sure. ♪ Oh, what a beautiful morning ♪ Yes. ♪ Oh, what a beautiful day ♪ All right. ♪ I've got a wonderful feeling ♪ ♪ Everything's going my way. ♪ That shit was dope. High five. She's a good singer. I don't agree with the sentiment of the song, but it was really great. Anyway, have a great day at school. Uh... I hope it's not shitty, and, um, yeah, give your, uh, sister a kiss goodbye. - We don't do that. - Just do it. See? Wasn't that nice? Now, if she dies tomorrow, you'll remember that, that you kissed her goodbye. Have a good day at school. - Later, man. - Pay attention. - Why would I die? - I don't know. You never know what's gonna happen. Think you're immortal?
The King of Staten Island
44.1s
- You-you know Ray? - I know Ray a little bit. He's kind of, like, banging my mom. So, yeah, I'm just, you know, just dropping her off. Did you sign in at the office? No. I didn't even know you had an office. Okay, um... Kelly? You okay? Yeah. - You sure? - Yeah. You know you can tell me. I'm okay. Do you know him? Yeah, kind of. He's a new friend. Okay. Oh, I trained her in the car. She's not gonna break. I'm just kidding. It's, uh... I'm not gonna hurt her. Um, but have a great day. I just... No, uh, actually, could you, uh, set up the paints? - No. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Uh, and just wash these brushes. - No. - Thank you so much. - No. No. - Thank you! - No.
The King of Staten Island
2m16s
Did-did you happen to get a chance - to take a look at the, uh... - Yeah, I looked at your book. I mean, I drew like that, too, when I was 14. From what I saw, you don't really have the basics, so you got to figure that out. Well, yeah, that's why I'm here. I mean, I was hoping I can learn from you. Right, well, um, you'd be my apprentice. Uh, you'll be a slave to the shop. - Hey, man. As long as I get to tattoo people, right? - No. Never. Until I say. Uh, you'll be sterilizing needles, washing my car, taking the trash out. I mean, you're basically our bitch. So, how much will I be, like, making here? - Dick. - Dick. Okay, well... It's a long line of people who want this job, man. How do I, like, pay my rent? That one right there is not my problem. It's your first day, you're already complaining. It's kind of weird, huh? Yeah, let's not do this. You should take a walk. - Pussy. - All right. Well, could I ask you a question? If I did work here? Why is he still here? Let's say some idiot walks in, right? And he wants to get a tattoo of a Confederate flag wrapped around the Grim Reaper. You could tell that guy to go fuck himself, right? 'Cause that's a ridiculous tattoo to ask for. It's not my place to judge people, man. I don't do that. Well, what if another guy walked in and he wanted to get a tattoo of his dead friend James on his chest, right? But you know James, and you don't want to give him the tattoo, 'cause you know James and he's an asshole and that the world's better off without him. - What do you do then? - You have a death wish? No, I don't have a death wish. But that lady on the motorcycle does. She's not even wearing any underwear. - She's gonna burn her pussy. - Do you want to do this? You really want to fucking do this? I don't want to do anything with you. I just want to know who killed James. Was it the Confederate flag man? Was it the motorcycle lady? I got to be honest, Kelsey, you look exactly like your picture. You're kind of thicker, more robust. Oh, thank you. - Yeah. - It's a compliment. You look a little bit like Antonio Banderas, if I squint really hard. Oh, please squint all night long. That's great. Chelsea, you are... I mean, Kelsey, I'm sorry. - Th-That's all right. It's only... - Yeah, you know. What's your name again? - I forgot already. - Um, it's Jake. Sorry about that. So, uh, w-what do you do? Oh, I'm studying to work in the city. - Oh. - Um, I want to make Staten Island, like, a great place again. Staten Island's already cool. What are you talking about? Yeah, it is. - Yeah. Yeah, it is. - You're the first person here to say that. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's the best place on Earth. Well, at least on the East Coast, I think. Excuse me.
The King of Staten Island
1m24s
- Hey. - Hey. Uh, would you guys like, uh, still or sparkling water? Um, you pick. Uh, I'm more of a sparkling guy, - so sparkling. - Sparkling it is. But I do like tequila, so if I could get just a Patrón, you know, with a rock. - That cool with you? - That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. - Yeah? Cool. Yeah, I prefer a tequila. - Cool. Tequila and rock. You guys want, like, warm bread or... uh, olive oil? Warm bread. Oh. Bro, did you scare off another customer? What's wrong with you? I'm so sorry about that. He has, like, nepotism, you know? Is that a disease? Yeah, it's a bad one. I brought that guy here to make you jealous. You could give a fuck. T-To make me jea... - You don't seem jealous or upset at all. - I do care. Of course I care. I chose the hottest guy on Tinder. Look at me. Look at me. Look at my tits. There is literally the Eiffel Tower... it's holding them up in here. You look great. I'm... Thank you. Please don't cry here. Please. You look awful. What? What do you mean? What are you... Your skin looks see-through and the circles around your eyes are so dark you look like an anorexic panda. I... Well, I-I know. - I know I do. - I don't know. You always look sick and pale like you have a disease but you don't know it yet, but you literally look like if I touched you, you'd just turn to dust. I'm sorry. I-I'm not doing very well. I-I'm not, you know... I... Well, what do I tell your date? I don't know. Tell him to fuck off. I met him ten minutes ago. He's a DJ.
The King of Staten Island
2m12s
Why do you not think ice is a good superpower? It's amazing. I mean... Ice Flash can do anything with his ice. And it's indestructible 'cause it's superhero ice. He can make giant shields that reflect anything. He can make giant ice tanks, giant ice planes and giant jets, helicopters that shoot giant missiles. I mean, think of all the possibilities. That's actually kind of cool. - Thanks. - You came up with that? Yeah. You're getting, like, really good at this. Thanks. What color is his shield? It's, well, the color of ice. Well, what's the color of ice? Is it, like, see-through? Like, light blue ice or is it like...? It's blue ice 'cause it's... - it's, like, superhero ice, and it's cool. - Right. You remember that kid Ronnie? His uncle owns the pharmacy. He gave me the key. We're gonna load up on oxys. So, we're robbers now. That's our future. Nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah. We're gonna do this one time. Get the money to seed our dreams. Get that venture capital. Open that tattoo restaurant you wanted. It's not that big a deal. Jay-Z did it. He sold crack to fund his rap career. Aren't most of Jay-Z's friends, like, dead or in jail? Yeah, but we're Jay-Z in this situation. We're not Jay-Z's friends. We can't all be Jay-Z. There can't be four Jay-Zs. That doesn't make any sense. You guys know I'd do anything for you, right? Thank you. - Appreciate you. - Just not this. I'm out. What are you talking about? - What? - This is crazy. Hey, we need you, all right? You're the lookout. Literally anybody can be the lookout. - I don't need to be a part of this. - No, no, no, no, no, no. We need you. You're our best friend. - We trust you. - Wha... Well, best friends don't make other best friends do stupid illegal shit. You make me do stupid shit for you all the time. - Like what? - Uh, I don't know. What about the time when you thought - you had testicular cancer? - Here we go. - Knew this was gonna come up. - All right? And then I drive over and you make me touch your nuts. I would've done it for you, bro. You're like, "Hey, yo, there's something wrong with my ass." - I'd be like, "Yo, bend over." - Come on. After everything we've done for you? What do you do for me? I let you tattoo my whole body. So what? You love my tattoos. You use me as a human sketchbook. I-I-I-I don't, really. I don't. Not as much as I say I do. I'm out of here. My bad.
The King of Staten Island
1m15s
Hey! Oh. Oh, oh, oh, you're so skinny. - Have you been eating? - Yeah. - Hi. - Hey. How are you? This is Ray. - Hey. How you doing? - Oh. - Nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you. Yeah, I feel like I already know you. Your mom talks about you all the time. - Oh, God. - Oh. No, only good stuff, only good stuff. Should we go eat? I am so sick of eating off a tray. - You hungry? - Yeah, I could eat. - Could always eat. - Uh-huh. Beautiful school. "Yeah, I could eat. I could always eat." Fucking asshole. Look at those two angels, huh? - Yeah, I know them. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - You walk them to school, don't you? - Yeah, I know who they are. - Oh, my God. - She's so cute. - Look. Look at those curls. We took them to see Stomp Off-Broadway. - They went crazy! - Oh, my God. I love Stomp. What's Stomp? What is that? It's the greatest musical of all time. Yeah, it's, like, that show where people play the drums on, like, garbage cans and, like, tap with broomsticks. - Stuff around the house. - Yeah. Like, you just see a toaster, we make an English muffin. They-they see a whole song. It's incredible. I know a homeless guy that plays trash can lids on the subway, for a dollar. And then he took a shit on the platform. Oh. Well, you know. I don't know if he's gonna get a Tony for that, but... Maybe if they keep practicing and get an adult diaper, they can, uh, get to Broadway someday.
The King of Staten Island
52.6s
Well, actually, I'm going up to Boston to meet his parents at Thanksgiving. - Oh. - What? You're going to Boston to... for Thanksgiving? To wha... Well, where-where am I gonna go? - Ah, you'll come. You can come. - Yeah, me, too. - We can all go. - Yeah, we'd love to have you up there. - Oh. You think you're gonna get married again? Oh, boy, look what I got us into. Claire. Well, you know what? I'll... I'll, uh, I'll answer that, you know? A couple of months ago, I would've said no, but... Uh, can we go? Scott. Don't be rude. Me? I'm not being rude. He's talking the entire time. Wha... He's the one being rude. Was just making conversation. Okay, so what did you want to say? - Cut this shit. - Tell us now. - All I wanted to say was I think it's time to go, okay? I had a great time. This is wonderful. I think we all bonded. It's time to leave now, all right? Well, we're going to a party later, if you want to come with us. You just can't embarrass me. Sure, whatever. Let's just get the fuck out of here.
The King of Staten Island