Instant Family
Instant Family is a 2018 American family comedy-drama film starring Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne as parents who adopt three siblings, played by Isabela Merced, Gustavo Quiroz, and Julianna Gamiz. Also starring Margo Martindale, Julie Hagerty, Tig Notaro, Octavia Spencer, and Tom Segura. The film is directed by Sean Anders, who wrote the screenplay with John Morris, based in part on Anders' own experiences. Instant Family was released in the United States on November 16, 2018. It grossed over $120 million worldwide, and was called an "earnest, heartwarming comedy" by critics, who also praised the performances.
24.6s
I can't get over it. They look just like normal kids. What did you think they were gonna look like? Little pirates? I don't know. They're just so cute. How is the new school? It's good. It's like... It's, um... It's school. - Yeah. - Awesome. And what's the boy situation? Anything exciting? No, no. Hey, hey, leave her alone. She doesn't like talking about that kind of stuff, so just go easy.
Instant Family
42.2s
What? You don't. - Actually, there's this one guy, Jacob. - Yeah? Wow, that's a cute name. Jacob. I like... Like Jake. No, honey, it's "Hway-cob." Right? Right? "Hway-cob." No, no, it's just Jacob. Jacob. J... J... acob. Yeah, and he's not cute. He's more of like an artsy, old soul type. - Yeah! - Yeah. I was never into the cute ones either. Nah. Cute's overrated. Right? I didn't either. I've never had a hot boyfriend, ever. Shut up! ♪ You look like a monkey ♪ ♪ And you smell like one too ♪ Yeah!
Instant Family
29.6s
It's the look. She's doing the look. I gotta get some ketchup. Pete, you'd said you'd say something to her next time she acts all bitchy. I never said the word "bitchy." It was her word, not mine. I am always the bad guy because you're never there. I'm not gonna apologize for working. Somebody's gotta deal with that dump of a house you bought before it bankrupts us. I bought? You loved it too. And that's not even the point. The point is, when you are there, you let them get away with murder. I got on Lizzy just last night when she wouldn't clean up after dinner! Perfect parent, huh? - Is this funny, Kit? - I think we're all enjoying this a little bit, Pete.
Instant Family
1m24s
- Unlock the window! - And if I say anything about any of it... I'm so sorry. It's not my fault. - Lizzy's favorite pastime is just... - Just leave me alone! Thanks for making me late. You're an asshole. God forbid we actually try to parent the little ones. No, no, that's her territory. Don't forget, when Lizzy was ten her mother would disappear for weeks at a time, leaving Lizzy to parent Juan and Lita all by herself. Yeah, she's not just gonna step aside and let you two take over. - Are you saying that we should let her parent the kids? - Are you paying attention? She's 15. She's a terrible parent. She needs to be a kid. Now, you gotta step up and become the parents. - But you just said she won't let us. - Nope, she won't. You know, Karen, you've been a godsend through most of this, but you're just about to piss me off! You won't get anywhere with her until you two get on the same page. - Right? - That's right. If she's hostile with you again, maybe try using the three R's. Okay? Number one: regulate. "Lizzy, why don't you take some deep breaths, count to ten." Number two: relate. "I understand that you're upset. Nobody likes to feel this way." - That's good. - Number three: reason. "Lizzy, it's okay to be angry. What's not okay is to threaten to slash our throats in the middle of the night when we're asleep." - Hmm? - What? I'm sorry, did I...? That was actually us. Our story. - Yeah. - Last session. The little guy didn't follow through with it though.
Instant Family
56.7s
- Well, not yet! - Not yet. Sorry, but we shouldn't be laughing. No, it's actually important to have a sense of humor about this kind of thing. Right. You gotta laugh or you'll never make it through this. That is right. Speaking of which, next up we have October, who still hasn't been matched with a child. Well, there's some good news. Ha-ha-ha. So, together we're all gonna decide which chore we'd like to do and then each week we'll mix it up. - Can I do "Feed Meatball"? - Yes! - I want to feed Meatball! - You can feed him next week. Pete, I hope she's not serious about all this. It's not just she, it's we. And we are. Very serious. - Okay, so do you want us to wash your feet too? - Oh, Lizzy. - This is bullshit! - Lizzy! Hey, hey, wait, wait! Lizzy. Let's just... Let's... Let's try something else. Can we just take a moment, calm down, and take a few breaths? Please? Try it.
Instant Family
49.8s
I don't know, maybe next time you guys... try and use the three R's on me. I could barf all over the ground because it's so nauseating! I knew it wasn't gonna work with her. Oh, good! You're home! Hi! Mom, I told you to text or call. You told me to give you a few weeks to settle in. Well, it's been a few weeks, and I want to meet my new grandkids. You must be Lizzy. Come here! - No, she doesn't like it when you... - Come here! Oh! I'm your Grandma Sandy. Anyone ever starts shit with any of you, they have to deal with me. We're family now, and I got your back forever. You hear me? - Mom, just take it easy. Please. - Oh, my God! Will you look at them! Juan, Lita, this is Sandy. This is Pete's mom. - Hi! - Hi! I could just eat you two up! And how's my baby boy? Ohh!
Instant Family
28.8s
- Hello, dear. - Hi. Mom, give us a few minutes. We were just in the middle of a family meeting. Perfect, because I'm a member of the family. Grandma Sandy has an announcement to make. I got the whole family tickets to Six Flags! - Yay! - Yay! What's Six Flags? - "What's Six Flags?" - Mom, that's such a nice offer. But things have been a little chaotic around here, and we need things to be normal. I'll tell you what's not normal, is your kids not knowing what Six Flags is.
Instant Family
29.6s
- I did not cave. - Oh, you caved. Lizzy gave you the look and you caved. Maybe I just wanted to be the fun parent for once instead of being the bad guy. - I tried being the bad guy. You wouldn't let me. - Okay, fine. I'm sorry. But look how much fun everybody's having. And Lizzy, she's actually smiling. It's crazy. Hey! Did you have fun? You don't have to go on the kiddie rides. I love the big rides. You want to go on the... - Hey, Lizzy! - Hey, what's up? - Good to see you! - Good to see you too!
Instant Family
54.9s
Hey, hey. What's up? Uh, Kylie, Savanna, these are my, um... fosters. - Yeah, yeah. - We're the fosters! - I'll see you guys later. - Actually, we were just gonna go on the water ride. Let her go with her friends. They don't want to be stuck here with a bunch of old farts like you two. They want to ride the big stuff and check out the hot boys. Here's a hundred. Buy yourselves some souvenirs and junk food. - Uh-huh. - Thanks, Grandma Sandy. Thanks! All right, cool. Uh, meet you guys at... What time are we going back to your house? We're going back to our house, where we all live, at 7:00! Okay, I'll see you then. Bye! - Mom, what are you doing? You can't... - Oh, no! Little Juanny's upchucking in the trash bin! You all right, peanut? Was it all the funnel cakes we ate? Oh. Oh, oh.
Instant Family