American Pie
American Pie is a 1999 American coming-of-age teen sex comedy film directed and co-produced by Paul Weitz and written by Adam Herz. It is the first film in the American Pie theatrical series and stars an ensemble cast that includes Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Alyson Hannigan, Natasha Lyonne, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott, Eugene Levy, Shannon Elizabeth, and Jennifer Coolidge. The film's story centers on a group of four classmates at East Great Falls High School: Jim Levenstein (Biggs), Kevin Meyers (Nicholas), Chris "Oz" Ostreicher (Klein), and Paul Finch (Thomas). The youths make a pact to lose their virginity before their high school graduation. The film's title refers to a scene in which the protagonist is caught masturbating with a pie after being told that third base feels like "warm apple pie". Herz has stated that the title also refers to the quest of losing one's virginity in high school, which is as "American as apple pie." Released on July 9, 1999, in the United States, American Pie received mixed reviews from critics, who were polarized on the film's raunchy humor but praised the performances of the cast. The film was a box office success, grossing $235.5 million worldwide on a $10 million budget. Retrospective critical analysis has placed American Pie among the greatest teen films of all time. American Pie's success spawned three sequels: American Pie 2, American Wedding, and American Reunion. In addition to the primary American Pie saga, there are five direct-to-DVD spin-off films bearing the title American Pie Presents: Band Camp, The Naked Mile, Beta House, The Book of Love, and Girls' Rules.
26.2s
39.2s
No, we shouldn't be. You know, I put in months of quality time with Vicky. Sherman meets a chick for one night and scores. - This is just wrong. - No shit. How the hell am I supposed to become Mr. Sensitive Man? You know, we're all gonna go to college as virgins. You realize this, right? I mean, they probably have special dorms for people like us. All right. I got an idea. But it's got to stay between us. It's really simple. We just got to make an agreement. Er, nah. It's... It's more than an agreement. - What? A bet? - A pact. No money involved. More important than any bet. Here's the deal. We all get laid before we graduate.
American Pie
1m1s
Dude, it's not like I haven't been trying to get laid. Think about when you work out, Oz. You gotta have someone there, right? Someone to spot you. Someone to keep you motivated. Well, that's exactly what we can do for each other. I mean, we'll be there to keep each other on track. Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together, we are the masters of our sexual destiny. Their tiger-style kung fu is strong. But our dragon-style will defeat it. - Guys! - The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite! - Fight, and find out who is number one. - Guys! Come on. You're ruining my moment here. This is our very manhood at stake. We must make a stand, here and now. No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be. This is our day. This is our time. And, by God, we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into celibacy. - Amen. Yes. - I like that. - We will make a stand. We will succeed. - 'Bout time! - We will get laid! - Yeah! - Yeah!
American Pie
29.6s
Now, the sex: It's got to be valid, consensual sex. - No prostitutes. That's what you're thinkin', Finch. Busted. So, basically, prom is our last chance. - Oh, dude. Prom sucks. - I know, but you gotta think about it this way. I mean, all the parties afterwards? The chicks are going to want to do it. - Yeah-yeah, he's right. It's, like tradition or something. - The Rose Bowl. - So, that gives us... - Exactly three weeks to the day.
American Pie
2m46s
- We're gonna do this. - All right, to the next step! - Next step! Next step! Next step! # I have visions I was in them I was lookin' into the mirror # # To see a little bit clearer # # The rottenness and evil in me # # Fingertips have memories I can't forget the curves of your body # # And when I feel a bit naughty # # I run it up the flagpole and see # # Who salutes but no one ever does # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # And I'm so hot # # 'Cause I'm in hell # # Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding # # The cretins cloning and feeding # - Well, did you get the flowers? - # And I don't even own a TV # # Hear the voices in my head I swear to God # # It sounds like they're snoring # # But if you're poor and you're boring # # The agony and the irony # # They're killing me # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # And I'm so hot # # 'Cause I'm in hell ## Don't worry. You'll get her back soon enough. - You think so? - Sure, she likes you. - Well, I like her too. - Do you love her? - Well, I like her too. - Do you love her? Um, you know what? You can't really ask me that. Well, if you want to get her in the sack, I mean, just tell her you love her. - That's how I was duped. - Look, Jessica, I- I don't want to dupe her. All right. What you need to do... is learn how to press a girl's buttons. You have to give her what she's never had. - What's that? - Let me give you a hint. Ohh, Kev! Uhh. Yeah. - Comprende? - You mean an orgasm. - You got it, stud! - Well, you know, I'm-I'm pretty sure that I've... given her a... - No, you haven't. - Well, there was one time... - No. - Oh, man. - Look, kid, it's up to you. The big "L" or the big "O." - Dickhead! - You gotta see this. - # Do you believe in # - # Magic in a young girl's heart # - # Ooh, ooh # # How the music can free her whenever it starts # # And it's magic if the music is groovy # - # It makes you feel happy # - What did you cocks do to him? - # I'll tell you about the magic It'll free your soul # - # Ooh, ooh, ooh # # But it's like tryin' to tell a stranger 'bout rock 'n' roll ## Great. See you next time.
American Pie
28.3s
- Hey, guys. Came to watch me in action? - Yeah. - I-I think you sounded pretty good. - Yeah, man. I think you need your balls reattached. - Hey, keep it down, dude. - What the fuck are you doing here? This place is an untapped resource. I mean, check it out. - These vocal jazz girls are hot. - Why the hell is he joining jazz choir so late? - Maybe he's preparing for another senior year at East? You guys, we don't even know him.
American Pie
22.3s
You dipshit! You're expecting to score with some... goody-goody choirgirl priss? These chicks don't know me. I can work the sensitive angle here, fellas! You know, it's just like that college chick told me. All that you gotta do is just ask 'em questions... and listen to what they have to say and shit. I don't know, man. That sounds like a lot of work!
American Pie
1m35s
Well, this is the... this is the, uh, female form. And they have focused on the breasts, uh, which are used primarily to, uh, feed young infants... - and, uh... and also, uh, in foreplay. - Right. This is, uh... This is Hustler. And this is a much more exotic magazine. Now, they have decided to focus on the, uh, pubic region... - Right. - The whole groin area. Look at the expression on her face. You see that? See what's she's doing? She's kind of looking right into your eyes saying, "Hey, big boy. Hey, how ya doin'?" - You see? - Right. Shaved is a magazine I'm not too familiar with, - but, again, if you flip to the center... Section... Well, you see the detail that, uh, that they go into in this picture here. - Uh-huh. Yeah. - It almost looks like a tropical plant or something... - underwater... thing. - Yeah. Yes. - Do you know what a clitoris is? - Oh, my God. - Well, don't say, "Oh..." - Yes, I know what a clitoris is. Oh, you do. Oh, I see. Yes, you do. I forgot you've been there and back. - You know everything... - I've learned about it in Sex Ed... - I really don't need you to talk about clitoris. - I'm trying to make this painless... - You know what? I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. - No-no-no. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. I shouldn't have got hot there. Well, you know what I'm going to do, Jim. I'm going to just leave these books here... for you to, uh, peruse at your, uh... at your leisure.
American Pie
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- See you at dinner. - Uh, yeah. I'll see you at dinner. So, Finch, this is your plan? You know, I don't think girls are into the whole mini-golf thing. Kevin, I'm sure that they're not. Actually, there is one small matter that I need to ask for your cooperation in. - In the spirit of this whole pact, you know? - Sure, what do you need? Whatever you hear about me, you agree. And tell all the boys the same thing. Look, I gotta go. Sixteen minutes round-trip. You know, Finch, it's... it's senior year. I mean, don't you think it's time you learned how to take a dump at school? When was the last time you looked at the facilities in this school?
American Pie
31.6s
Excuse me. Uh, that's Paul Finch, right? - Yeah. - Well, you've seen him in the locker room, right? - Uh, yeah. - So, my friends, they want to know. Is it true? You know, that he's... equipped. I have no idea. Finch showers with his bathing suit on. I mean, uh... As a matter of fact, it is true. The guy's huge! - Does he have a date for the prom yet? - No, definitely not. All right. Thanks.
American Pie
53.3s
Oh, man! So I was thinking maybe you could give me some advice, brother to brother. I thought you might know a trick or somethin' to make her... - Orgasm? - Yeah. - What's good here? - Try the spicy tuna hand roll. - What? - How do you do that? - Hey, never mind that. Listen, pay attention. Is that all that you're interested in, tryin' to get your girl into bed? No, it'd be good to be able to, you know, return the favor. Be nice to know she enjoys things as much as I do. See that? That's good. That's what I wanted to hear. Now, you qualify. - Qualify for what? - My man, you've just inherited the Bible. It originally started as a sex manual, this book that some guys brought back from Amsterdam. And each year it got passed on to one East student who was worthy. Now, it's full of all sorts of stuff that guys have added over the years.
American Pie
35.7s
- # If you believe in magic # - # Ooh, magic # # Don't you bother to choose if it's jug band music or rhythm and blues # # Just go and listen It will start with a smile # # That won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try # # Your feet start tappin' and you can't seem to find how you got there # # Do you believe in magic ## # Scooby-dooby doo bah scoo-scooby-dooby dooby-dooby doo bah # # Yeah, magic ## What was that? - Uh, sorry. - No, it was good.
American Pie