American Pie

American Pie is a 1999 American coming-of-age teen sex comedy film directed and co-produced by Paul Weitz and written by Adam Herz. It is the first film in the American Pie theatrical series and stars an ensemble cast that includes Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Alyson Hannigan, Natasha Lyonne, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott, Eugene Levy, Shannon Elizabeth, and Jennifer Coolidge. The film's story centers on a group of four classmates at East Great Falls High School: Jim Levenstein (Biggs), Kevin Meyers (Nicholas), Chris "Oz" Ostreicher (Klein), and Paul Finch (Thomas). The youths make a pact to lose their virginity before their high school graduation. The film's title refers to a scene in which the protagonist is caught masturbating with a pie after being told that third base feels like "warm apple pie". Herz has stated that the title also refers to the quest of losing one's virginity in high school, which is as "American as apple pie." Released on July 9, 1999, in the United States, American Pie received mixed reviews from critics, who were polarized on the film's raunchy humor but praised the performances of the cast. The film was a box office success, grossing $235.5 million worldwide on a $10 million budget. Retrospective critical analysis has placed American Pie among the greatest teen films of all time. American Pie's success spawned three sequels: American Pie 2, American Wedding, and American Reunion. In addition to the primary American Pie saga, there are five direct-to-DVD spin-off films bearing the title American Pie Presents: Band Camp, The Naked Mile, Beta House, The Book of Love, and Girls' Rules.

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Weird. Try the house down the street.

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So, what's your major? Post-modern feminist thought. Oh, cool. Great night, isn't it? Sure. Yeah, it's just somethin' about the springtime that's just cool, you know? Like the smell of fresh rain or somethin'. Suck me, beautiful. What did you just say? Suck me, beautiful. My friends call me "'Nova," as in Casanova. That's pathetic. Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me. Well, there's just some things you need to learn, that's all. - Like what? - Well, you've got to tone it down. You don't need to come to a place like Lookout Point... and spout off cheeseball lines to be romantic. - Okay. - You have to pay attention to a girl. Be sensitive to her feelings. Relationships are reciprocal. Come on, Casanova. I'll take you back to your friends.

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Vicky, think it's time to take the next step in our relationship? - Tonight? - Yeah, it's such a perfect evening. I mean, it's how you've always pictured it, isn't it? Damn, my parts fuckin' stink! Dude, you gotta take a shit! You smell like a Yeti! Or not. Just relax.

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You actually said that? Shut up! You did a hell of a lot better than I did with Nadia. Oh, thanks, Jim, that's great. That's really reassuring. Hey, no problem, 'Nova. Hey, don't call me 'Nova anymore. I'm a... I'm a fraud. You guys are pathetic. I'm gonna find myself a little hottie. "Suck me, beautiful"!

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- Let me know. - Okay. Keep going. I should be able to talk to girls. I'm articulate. You know, I got a 720 on my S.A.T. Verbal. Bullshit. There's no way. I kid you not, man. Look. Listen. Copious. Verisimilitude. Oh, ohh. Now.

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Suck me, beautiful! - Damn it, Stifler. - Checkout time! - Please, vacate the room. - You are such a jerk.

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God, I can't believe how many cool people are at this party. Yup. And you got a keg too! - Wow! - Indeed.

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Oh, wait. I left my beer downstairs. No. No. Here, babe! Thanks. You're really beautiful. Oh... - Really? - Oh, yeah.

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You know what? I don't know if I want to be doing this. - Doing what? - You know, like, if we hook up tonight, tomorrow I'll just be some girl you go telling all your friends about. No way! Steve, you could at least look at me when you say that! Look. Sarah, I... I wouldn't go telling stories or anything about you. I promise. So, just... relax, take it slow... and let the good times roll.

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- Okay. - All right.

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What's wrong?

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What's wrong? What is it?

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Xenophobic. Oh! - Regurgitation. - I know that one.

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- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?

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Ha-ha, nice! - Jesus! Stifler, how much did you drink, man? Hey, Stifler? How's the pale ale? - Fuck you! - Ooh, whoo! - That's Stifler's mom? - Yup. Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman like this produced a guy like Stifler. - Dude, that chick's a "MILF." - What the hell is that? - M-I-L-F... Mom I'd like to fuck. - Yeah, dude! Oh-ho, yeah! - Yeah! MILF! MILF! - Hey, guys... Guys. Guys. - Come here. - Sherman, what's goin' on? Yeah, uh... Don't you think you fellas could try a little tact? I got company, if you know what I mean?

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She's hot!

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If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed. Sherman? The Shermanator? Come on, man.

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MILF! MILF! MILF! MILF! Dude, hey, dude. What are you doin' to her, dude? Oh, my God, bro, dude. Enough of this blow job bullshit. - I gotta get laid already. - That's nice. Really, really nice. - Can I have a ride? - Sure. - Vicky, wait. - Not for you. Yeti! I am the Yeti!

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- Good morning, gentlemen. - Finch. Where were you last night, huh? What happened to that foolproof plan of yours? Well, I was going for a fashionably-late entrance and I was too late. So, no ladies left. It was a very special night, very special. Guys. Guys.

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- I'll never forget this. - Oh, I'll never forget it, either. - Thank you. - Uhh. - Well, bye. - Bye. Bye.

American Pie