Trust me, I can do this. Shut up. Let him try it, man. All right, fuck it.
Ted
6.4s
Did you... Did you just talk? Don't look so surprised. You're the one who wished for it, aren't you?
Ted
1.4s
(GRUNTS)
Ted
4.1s
What is it? 'Cause it sounds negative. No, no, it's from The Notebook.
Ted
1.2s
Where is he?
Ted
2.4s
Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man. What happened?
Ted
1.3s
(TED GRUNTING)
Ted
4.4s
I made you out to be a hero. You know what, John, we asked Ted to move out so we can give ourselves a chance without him.
Ted
5.1s
So you think you got what it takes? I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Ted
7.5s
I know. And we'll hang out all the time, right? All the time. Fuck it. Bring it in. Come here. Bring it in, you bastard. Come on.
Ted
6.9s
I hear the fat kid running. I hear the fat kid running. I bet it's hilarious. Let me out of here! I am a citizen of the United States of America and I have rights! (GRUNTS)
Ted
1.2s
(LAUGHING)
Ted
13.9s
You know something? I didn't tie you up and drag you to that party. I wanted you to come because you're supposedly my best friend. You can't stand there and tell me that you haven't always seen Lori as a threat to our friendship. It works out so much better for you when you and I are getting fucked up on the couch at 9:00 a.m., doesn't it?
Ted
6s
What? Do you know what just happened? Do you have any clue? My fucking life just ended!
Ted
1.4s
Hey.
Ted
9.5s
You would? I sure would. Is that cannibalism? No, I think it's only cannibalism if you swallow. Oh, yeah, no! Don't worry about that, because I don't swallow.
