Oh! Will you listen to my husband? He's a detective. Yes, yes. What should we do, Mr. Officer? Well, for starters, let's stop removing and reinserting the murder weapon into the victim's chest. In fact, let's stop touching the body altogether. He was gonna take it all away.
Murder Mystery
12.5s
I'm so sorry. Would you like us to leave? We could... I don't know how we're getting out of here, though. We're... We're out to sea. Is there an Uber for boats? - Out... Out of the room, Nick. - Out of the room? We can go out of the room, absolutely... No.
Murder Mystery
1.8s
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure.
Murder Mystery
14.1s
Keep your mouth shut. I'll mess you up, old man. Old man. Oh, my God. First of all, I should throw you in jail just for calling me "old man," but you bring that stuff back, I'll let you go 'cause I'm late for dinner and I'm hungry as shit.
Murder Mystery
1.2s
Repugnant.
Murder Mystery
1.2s
Claritin...
Murder Mystery
5.4s
Thank you. Thanks a lot. Are you gonna tell 'em about the stuff in your backpack?
Murder Mystery
1.2s
Hi, welcome.
Murder Mystery
13.9s
More like a fingerling potato. It doesn't take that much. There are guys at the intersection selling flowers. You just roll down the window, grab a bunch, bring 'em home. - I mean, they couldn't make it any easier. - No kidding. I mean, tomorrow is our 15th wedding anniversary.
Murder Mystery
1.7s
Oh. He's the eggplant.
Murder Mystery
10.1s
I mean, he used to leave me, like, cute little mixtapes, little love notes in the bathroom. Love notes are dead. When my husband wants to have sex, he just texts me the eggplant and doughnut emoji.
Murder Mystery
1.7s
He took her in a helicopter?
Murder Mystery
4.1s
I gotta get Claritin. Claritin. Oh, my God! Look!
Murder Mystery
3.9s
- Okay, fine. - Thank you. You owe me. See you tonight.
Murder Mystery
1m3s
So I put my finger here, and check this... the watch tells me I have a heart problem. Wouldn't a mirror tell you the same thing? Yeah, but this has weather, too. Okay. We got an hour until we're meeting the ladies for dinner. - Yeah. - You wanna catch a beer? I can't. I gotta run a few errands. What? You don't want a beer? What's wrong? I... got the results back from the detective exam. You failed again? This is why I never took that test. All the anxiety and disappointment. At some point, you have to realize you have hit your ceiling and just give up. You know, you should go around and speak at schools. - That was very inspiring. - I should. Kids need to hear this shit. I don't get it, man. I know all the answers, I just freeze under pressure. You know, I can't take the exam for, like, three more months, so I gotta continue lying to Audrey. So when we're at dinner tonight, please, - tell your wi... - Ah! No. Come on, man. You know I'll lie for you anytime. I will cover up dead bodies for you. But if I ask Holly to lie to your wife, there's no way we're messing around. It's Freaky Friday! You don't have to lie, just tell her to ignore when I'm lying. That's it.
Murder Mystery
5.9s
I like your sneakers. They must be expensive. Is that why can't afford the Monster Energy Drink or the Flamin' Hot Cheetos?
