Welcome back, a cappella enthusiasts. My name is John Smith, and sitting here to my left is Gail Abernathy-McCadden-Feinberger. Oh, this one's gonna stick, John. Well, you saved the Jew for last. I did. I did. You're listening to Let's Talk-Appella, the world's premiere downloadable a cappella podcast. We are coming to you live from the nation's capital, where the Barden University Bellas are about to rock the historic Kennedy Center. Boy, these girls have broken down every single barrier in their path, haven't they, Gail? Absolutely, John. The first all-female group to win a national title, three-time defending champs, and now, here they are, performing for the President of the United States on his birthday. Wow! What an inspiration to girls all over the country who are too ugly to be cheerleaders.
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All eyes were on the a cappella singers, the Barden Bellas. ...three-time defending a cappella national champions, which is a real thing, apparently. Although authorities have ruled out terrorism as a motive, the Bellas claim the mishap was merely an accident and issued an apology. I am deeply sorry for the upset that I have caused. I feel that I have already received punishment enough in the form of silk burn. Exhibit C. No, no, no! It's filth. Women who sing are just another example of cultural decay, due to loose morals. Not wearing underwear seems kind of intentional to me. Mmm. Yeah, you either choose to wear underwear, or you don't wear underwear. It's a choice I make every day. You know, until today, I thought singing a cappella was the most embarrassing thing you could do.
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Who's gonna sing the national anthem at the Puppy Bowl? You're being replaced by the European champions. A German group of total professionals. In other words, they're gonna keep their pants on. So we can't defend our title and we can't tour? And you can't hold any auditions. We don't need your ranks to grow like a fungus. Oh, so that's it, then? So, basically, the Bellas are over? Look, ladies, I'm sorry that this disciplinary action has shocked you. Especially since you're all seniors. But the truth is, you're just women. No. And you'll all be pregnant soon. Mmm.
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No! Okay, she has no underwear on. Oh, my God. We have a commando situation. There is a commando situation on stage! Who is on top of this? - What kind of person... - Holy cow! Take her back up. She's turning. Pull her up already! She's turning. Brace yourselves. No. She's coming. She's coming! Avert your eyes, or take it all in! Make your choice! Not the front! Nobody wants to see the front! Oh, no!
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Happy birthday, Mr. President. The Australian singer who calls herself "Fat Amy" gave the President a birthday gift from down under during last night's celebration held at the historic Kennedy Center. In case you're wondering what I mean by "down under," Chip, I'm talking about her. She showed her to the President.
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Here's Beca Mitchell, leader of the group. Look at these sequins and sparkles. Oh, my! Their feet just don't stop moving.
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Whoa! Another surprise! An overweight girl dangling from the ceiling. Who hasn't had that dream? Lots of us.
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You know, before coming to Barden, I had diarrhea for seven years.
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But yes, this is terrible. The dean is ready for you tramps.
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Oh, jeez.
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There is nothing in here that strips us of our national title. And if we're still reigning champs, then we are automatically invited to represent America at the World Championships this spring. Ah, yes, the World Championships of A Cappella, where, every four years, groups from around the globe compete for world domination. I'm sorry. I just feel like I always have to be on, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, look, ladies, we can't stop you from going to the Worlds competition. It's not gonna help your case here. Not at all. What if we win it? What if you win it?
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Oh, and, honey, don't be afraid to express yourself. And not with those weird buttons they wear in their earlobes. Unless you're gonna get a job... Mom, slow down. I'm not gonna do anything crazy. I'm just gonna write my songs and join an a cappella group. Not just any a cappella group.
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If you leave me now You'll take away the biggest part of me Mom. You want me to stop? Or I could keep singing! No, I don't know how I'm gonna get by without your spontaneous singing. Oh, honey, you're gonna love this place.
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We're gonna crush them. And when we do, we can stick it to these chumps who send us all this hate mail, like, "Sonia Sotomayor."
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The Bellas are an institution. My days as a Bella were the best... Best days of your life. I know. And I can't wait to be one.