You know, generally people who don't want conversation hop in the back. If you sit shotgun, it's sort of code that you're D-T-T. - Down-To-Talk. - I'm more... D-T-shut-the-fuck-up.
Stuber
23.9s
You know I can't see. What did you say to her, man? You ruined her night. I don't know. I gave her my Glock. See, that's your problem! You give people Glocks instead of love. Suddenly the Uber driver knows all about parenting. You're just very abrasive and you're insensitive, and you're very scary and you're... Oh, my God! That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about! Why did you do that? To get cops here. Just in case. Let's go. Go, go.
Stuber
1.9s
Get in the car!
Stuber
2.7s
Hey. Hey!
Stuber
43.9s
Oh! What the hell do you want? This is more about what you want, Detective Manning. You know my name. I'm freakin' flattered. Want another partner... to die on your watch? - Little shit's not my partner. - No, no, no. Don't listen to him. He's bluffing. We're very close. No, we're not. Shoot him. I just asked him to be the godfather of my children. Yes? You'll do it? Save your breath, Steve. We're in love. There. It's out there. Ahh! This is how it's gonna play out. That ugly cocksucker... You're not that ugly. ...is gonna offer up a swap. You for Amo, straight up. Me for Amo, straight up? Awesome! As soon as we make the swap... he's gonna shoot us both. Senor Cortez here, too. That's bullshit, man. No, he's right actually. Boss hates loose ends. I told you.
Stuber
1.7s
That's you!
Stuber
1.2s
Hey!
Stuber
1.6s
I know, Vic.
Stuber
1.2s
I'm blind again!
Stuber
14.1s
Cool glasses, man. What, are you going to a racquetball game later? I can't see. Oh, my God. You're blind? I am so sorry. I didn't know it was like that. It'll come back. That's the spirit.
Stuber
10.1s
Here. Please, no. No, no, no. We're the good guys. He's a cop. I'm with Uber. Go, go, go. Get down, get down. Get down.
Stuber
17.8s
Oh. Of course. Yeah, no, I was just thinking about that earlier. You think I'd miss my baby girl's first gallery show? Well, you did schedule eye surgery the same day as it, so... Well, even if I was having a heart transplant today, I'd be there. Right. But you can't actually see, so... I'll get up real close then.
Stuber
1.8s
You little shit!
Stuber
8s
I'm gonna hit "send". I wonder if Doc Ramirez will see this. 1:00 a.m. at the salvage yard! - Yes. - Hey, stop!
Stuber
9.7s
Oh, my God. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die at a hospital for animals. No. Hey, hey. Pull it together, all right? I need you to take out these lights. Level the playing field. I don't have a gun!
Stuber
20.7s
- Did you hear that? - Becca wants to fuck! Oh, my God! What am I gonna do? - You're gonna fuck! - But then what? We just don't talk about it? Not this time. This time you tell her how you feel. You open your heart. You be honest. Go. - Yeah. Yeah. - Lock it down. - Lock it down. - Lock it down. I'm gonna lock it down. I'm gonna tell her how I feel. Amo.
Stuber
5.6s
Yo, Amber. What's up, girl? It's Leon!
Stuber
21.3s
Five. Technically four. You fainted before Amo got shot in the head. Rhetorical! Rhetorical question, dude! I'm gonna need therapy for the rest of my life. And I don't have insurance. So I'm gonna have to get cheap student therapists who quote white guys with Indian names and tell me that I should meditate. I do meditate!