Oh! Will you listen to my husband? He's a detective. Yes, yes. What should we do, Mr. Officer? Well, for starters, let's stop removing and reinserting the murder weapon into the victim's chest. In fact, let's stop touching the body altogether. He was gonna take it all away.
Murder Mystery
12.5s
I'm so sorry. Would you like us to leave? We could... I don't know how we're getting out of here, though. We're... We're out to sea. Is there an Uber for boats? - Out... Out of the room, Nick. - Out of the room? We can go out of the room, absolutely... No.
Murder Mystery
1.8s
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure.
Murder Mystery
14.1s
Keep your mouth shut. I'll mess you up, old man. Old man. Oh, my God. First of all, I should throw you in jail just for calling me "old man," but you bring that stuff back, I'll let you go 'cause I'm late for dinner and I'm hungry as shit.
Murder Mystery
1.2s
Repugnant.
Murder Mystery
1.2s
Claritin...
Murder Mystery
5.4s
Thank you. Thanks a lot. Are you gonna tell 'em about the stuff in your backpack?
Murder Mystery
1.2s
Hi, welcome.
Murder Mystery
1.2s
Let's go with the 50.
Murder Mystery
35.4s
I'm still waiting on that trip to Europe he promised me on our wedding day. - That's been 15 years? - Yeah. I could have walked to Europe by now. You know, you just have to tell him. I just don't want to have to tell him. I just want him to know. - No, they never just know. - I know. - That doesn't happen. - You have to tell men everything. If you want the dishes to not go in the sink, you have to tell them. If you want him to shower before he comes to bed, - you have to ask him. - Ugh. That's why they have those signs in bathrooms at restaurants to tell employees to wash their hands. Those aren't for women, guys. Those are for men. Or maybe you could just text him, airplane, wine glass, Italian flag, eggplant, doughnut, doughnut, doughnut.
Murder Mystery
13.9s
More like a fingerling potato. It doesn't take that much. There are guys at the intersection selling flowers. You just roll down the window, grab a bunch, bring 'em home. - I mean, they couldn't make it any easier. - No kidding. I mean, tomorrow is our 15th wedding anniversary.
Murder Mystery
1.7s
Oh. He's the eggplant.
Murder Mystery
10.1s
I mean, he used to leave me, like, cute little mixtapes, little love notes in the bathroom. Love notes are dead. When my husband wants to have sex, he just texts me the eggplant and doughnut emoji.
Murder Mystery
9.6s
My husband won't even pay for Uber Black. Yeah. I don't even... I can't even remember the last time that Nick did anything even remotely romantic.
