Don't touch that, it's from Laser Tag. Sorry. - They're good people. I swear. - Let me see that. Where are you going with these "good people"? We're heading out to the coast to, um, charter a boat for the year. - For the year? - Yeah. To do what? We're documenting the effects of climate change out on the ocean.
Dirty Grandpa
14.9s
"De Oppresso Liber." It's written on your knife too. What does that mean? Hey, lights out after 12:00, boys. I better not catch you swimming across the lake to the girls' camp, okay? - Night. - Good night.
Dirty Grandpa
13.2s
Seems to me like you're running from something. Come on, haven't you had to make sacrifices to get where you are as a photographer? I mean, yeah, but... That's different.
Dirty Grandpa
7.3s
You know, maybe I'll find something to do with Shadia tomorrow and give you and Lenore a little more alone time.
Dirty Grandpa
5.1s
Aren't you supposed to graduate next weekend? Yeah.
Dirty Grandpa
3.3s
- Night. - Night.
Dirty Grandpa
1.8s
See?
Dirty Grandpa
42s
It's not fair to just keep Shadia in the dark like this. Since we started this, it's just been one big lie. She has no idea who I am. I have to tell her the truth. Well, maybe telling her tonight is a little abrupt. The most important part of a relationship is trust. - That's right. - And I'm going to start now. Or you can just wait till I have sex with Lenore tonight, then you can tell Shadia everything. - No. I'm just lying. - Jason, I'm your grandfather! You wait till I fuck that college girl! - I'm telling her now. - Jason... Jason! Jason!
Dirty Grandpa
27.1s
It's too bad Lenore barfed all over herself tonight. I definitely could have had sex with her. Yup. I probably could have still had sex if she just threw up on her front, but she somehow got it all over her back, and I would have felt bad. Well, chivalry isn't dead. I like the way you took that haymaker tonight. Sometimes you just gotta take that punch up front, you know? Then things get easier in the long run.
Dirty Grandpa
15s
Well, when you get married, it's for a long fucking time. And it's hard. So it damn well better be with a woman who keeps things interesting. You know your grandmother, she tried to grow her own pot plant once?
Dirty Grandpa
5.5s
Sweet. I miss having someone to share everything with.
Dirty Grandpa
3.3s
- Really? - Yeah, she just wanted to see if she could do it.
Dirty Grandpa
2.7s
She was always surprising me like that.
Dirty Grandpa
3.5s
We also tried anal once every five years.
Dirty Grandpa
2.5s
Get out of here before I use my other arm.
Dirty Grandpa
19.2s
I had some of this left over from my time in the Middle East. You throw some of this shit around, you can really get away with anything. - Have some. - You're smoking grass now? Jesus, this is a gateway drug, Grandpa. Yeah, well, you just opened the gateway to being a pussy. - Take some. - Yo, D. Let's fucking bounce! - Let's fucking bounce! - Where?
Dirty Grandpa
5.6s
What the fuck is going on? I thought these guys wanted to kill you! Lebanese Red.
Dirty Grandpa
37.9s
♪ And everything is all right ♪ I got a beep from Kim And she can fuck all night ♪ Called up the homies and I'm asking y'all ♪ Which park are y'all playing basketball? ♪ Get me on the court and I'm trouble ♪ Last week fucked around And got a triple double Can I say it? Can I say it? No! No, no. - Say it! - Say that shit! ♪ Freaking niggas every way like MJ ♪ I can't believe today was a good day? I'm totally gonna fuck him tonight. Can I watch? 'Cause I kind of want to fuck him too now.