Found 285 results
2m16s
- Igor. - Mm-hmm. Go get that shit, bro. What are you doing? Yo, he is the worst assistant. He's clearly going through a lot. How much for, like, six Xanax? Six. What do we have? What do we have? - Who needs six Xanax? - I got one, two... I got three right here, I think. One, two... Is this a... Yeah. - How you doing? - I'm all right. Yo, you're Jimmy Bags' brother, right? Yes, bro. Tell your brother he's a bitch. - You understand that? - Yeah. I do. - Say it back to me. - He's a bitch. He's a bitch. And now, you know what? I got four, but you're paying for six. Nah, come on. That's my fucking brother, bro. - Like, what are you... - Nah. Nah, dude. I hate your brother. And now you look like a little version of him, and I want to punch you in the face. So, instead of doing that, just give me 60. I only got 40. Then go home, do chores, and come back. - I don't give a fuck. - I-I can't. I stole it from my mom's purse, but she only had 40. Well, then, give me your shoes. No, bro, I can't. Just give me your shoes and we'll call it a day. - Hey, what size are you? - Like, a nine. Those'll fit you. - Igor, you can have those. - I'll take 'em. Look at that, Igor got a gift. - He's not a fucking nine. - Fuck you! You don't make fun of my friend! He-he can't get on fucking roller coasters, - he's that small. - Shut the fuck up! - Whoa! - We make fun of him! - How is he gonna wear them? - You don't make fun of him! - He's our friend. He rides roller coasters all the time. We make fun of him, not you. He's, like, a size five, bro, like... Yo! Stop! Get the fuck away from my window. You guys are a bunch of fucking pussies. Mom, he's saying he's gonna wear these cargo shorts to the party. Oh, no. What? I told you to wear Dad's suit. I don't want to wear Dad's old suit, okay? - I have my own personal style, and I... - Get the fuck off me! - Don't do that! - I-I don't want to wear a suit, okay? I think, I think I'm gonna throw up. I think I have the flu. Oh, oh, okay. Just-just breathe through your nose. One second. Oh, shut up. Mom, he looks like he fucking sells crack under a bridge. I know the guy who sells crack under the bridge, okay? And he looks awesome. Just put on the suit, Scott, please. No! It's not fair! She thinks she's, like, princess of the world... Okay, well, then just please be respectful for two fucking seconds! ...because she graduated high school. Everybody graduates high school! - Shut up! - Scott! - ♪ Oh, she's a jolly good fellow ♪ - Oh. Mom, please... Just put on the suit. Be respectful. I'll be home in an hour. Fine! Thank you.
The King of Staten Island
39.2s
Oh, but you can't, 'cause he's dead. Anybody got a good response to that? Yeah! Again! Whoo! What a game. What a game. So, what, I shouldn't have kids? No, you... you should have kids. I'm gonna have kids. You know, maybe you should take a cue from your shirt, you know? Smile. Lighten up. That's actually kind of funny. Guy's all right. Why can't you be more like him? He's all right. Why can't you not embarrass me like this? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends.
The King of Staten Island
30.7s
Okay, let's see my to-do list. Yo, we're finished packing the car. You want to come out and say goodbye or...? Oh, well, yeah, this is almost over. No, like, we're leaving. - Oh. She's leaving? - Like, to go to college, you know? - Oh, oh, my bad. - Yeah, four years, so... - Oh, all right. - Let's go. Nope, like... Go. Come on. Uh, don't worry about me, okay? This is really hard right now. You don't seem fine. I'm so proud of you.
The King of Staten Island
28.6s
Did you, um, did you, did you come? Well, yes. Were you there? Yeah, I did. - Like, six times. - Cool. - Awesome. - It was great. - Did you? - No, no, no. But it's okay. I-I had fun. I had fun back there. Yeah. You know, I feel bad that you never do. No, I-I do all the time. I just... you know, I don't put on a Broadway show like you do. You know, I'm-I'm more quiet. I'm more like Charlie Chaplin when I come. - Like a silent movie. - Silent movie.
The King of Staten Island
38.3s
All right, can I just tell you... can I tell you something? But can you, like, not tell anybody? Well, people probably know, but, like... There's, like, something wrong with me. - Like, mentally, like... - What? Like, I'm not okay up there. You know? Like... I-I get all mad, acting, like, crazy, and I, and I make really insane, impulsive decisions. And I get... I'm d... I'm scared o-of myself, and I don't... I don't want to, like, scare you or me or, like, hurt anyone, you know? So, I think it would just be best and really responsible of me if I just backed off, you know?
The King of Staten Island
41.6s
Apology accepted. It's nice. Don't get many of those around here. - Thanks. - Oh, hey, this might seem a little crazy, but, uh... can I take you out for a cup of coffee? So, Scott did this. Oh. Is that a cocker spaniel? No. No, that's my daughter. - That's Claire. - Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah. I can... - Yeah, I just thought... - No, it's okay. - I thought those were ears. - Um, it's okay. - That's her hair. Okay, yep. - I know. I hear that. Scott got his first tattoo when he was 16. - Oh, okay. - It was of Kermit the Frog. Oh. - That's kind of cute. - Yeah, yeah. Kermit smoking a joint, so... Kermit smoking a joint? Geez, I don't remember that episode on Sesame Street, huh?
The King of Staten Island
42.6s
I don't know, like, this... like, what is this? - And I don't know why... - This? - This is... - I want to do what normal people do. Yeah, I know. I just, you know, I... It-it might be weird, you know. We've known each other for, like, ever. Since fourth grade. It would be like incest. No, it wouldn't. No, it's like, yeah, w-we're best pals, and I wouldn't want to, like, jeopardize our friendship or something like that over something... not silly, but, you know, it's just... it's a big risk. But we've already done the deed. - I mean, what else is there? - "Done the deed"? - I don't know. - But, you know, it's just, - you deserve somebody way better than me. - What? You're a good guy. - You're a good guy. I like you. - Uh... Well, I... Based on what? I mean, I like you, too. It's just like...
The King of Staten Island
23.3s
- I don't know, can I say something? I, um... - Yeah. I just still don't understand why this is such a big secret. You know why it's a big secret. 'Cause it's special. It's-it's, like, our thing, you know? It-it wouldn't be special if everybody knew about it. Yeah, but I don't just want to do this. Yeah, I totally get that. So, should we stop? No, I...
The King of Staten Island
35.9s
Think we're gonna take these pansy Spinners tonight? Oh, man, we can't take the Spinners, - you might as well just shut it down. - Mm. We should just pack it in, send these guys back to Single-A. My kid's Little League team could give these guys a run for their money. These guys are all on the job, too. The old ballbuster here... he's the senior man of the house. Did you call me a senior? You're the one who's bald. Come on, Papa. I'm just fucking around. Hey, you want a hot dog? Oh, no, I can't. I, uh, I have Crohn's. What's that? It's, like, when the lining of your stomach is all messed up, so it makes you shit all the time. Oh, thanks for sharing.
The King of Staten Island
1m58s
Hey, honey. I made you an omelet. What are you gonna wear to your sister's graduation party? I was thinking, what about one of your dad's suits? I don't know. I-I don't think I'm really a suit guy, you know? Plus-plus, all those suits are out of style, so... You know, I thought they were back in style. And... can you not smoke pot before the party? Why? Because it smells. You smell bad. And no vaping because they're gonna think it's pot. The uncle is a cop. We don't need that kind of trouble. Fuck that guy. I hate this family. They're so rich and snooty. They've been really nice to Claire. Hey, Mom. You got me the plastic containers. I just need the cardboard boxes I can throw away. But they're so good for storing things. Yeah, but I don't have any storage. My closet's, like, two feet wide. Hey, Claire, do you even want me at your graduation party? Do I want you to go? I don't care. Just... It's weird if you don't go. That wasn't exactly a warm invitation. Yeah, well, it's not the part I'm looking forward to most. But I want you to be there. - She wants you to go. - No, she doesn't. - She just said it. - No, I don't want him to go. He has to go. Just don't sit on the couch in the corner the whole time. - It's weird. - No, I don't see the problem with sitting in the corner, okay? There's some people that go to the party and dance, and there's some people that sit in the corner. I'm the corner guy. Accept your brother. Also, don't try to fuck Layla, okay? She told you she's not interested. What are you talking about? I never tried to hook up with her. She's always trying to fuck me, and I-I have to avoid it at all costs, out of respect for you. I just thought she looked really good in those pants. - Jesus. - Thought that was a nice thing to say. - Just don't. - I didn't know I would get MeToo'd for it. Dad's suits are vacuum-sealed in the garage. - Yeah? - Just pick yourself a nice one. You have to look nice. We're celebrating your sister's achievements. You're gonna miss her when she's gone. Yeah. Celebrate me.
The King of Staten Island
1m27s
Round two. Fight! Yo, where'd you get this? This shit does not taste very good. What are you talking about? This shit's fire, dawg. Do you guys even really get high anymore? I-I don't really think I get high anymore. I think I just kind of am myself. I haven't been high in a while, man. But I still do it. I like the lifestyle. I'm mad high. Yo, tell Scotty about how you're being catfished. - Who? - You! How you're being catfished, bro. Tell him the truth. You got a girlfriend? What's up? - No. - Yeah. - That's awesome. - Yes. Her name is Carla. - We talk on the phone. - Nah, dude. Like, this girl, like, slid into his DMs, and, like, I don't know, she, like, asked him out or whatever. - But hundred percent a trick, dude. - She... - She's bad, but that's not yours. - Why? And she's, like, so hot, dude. Yo, she, like, hangs out on yachts. - Like, yo. - Oh, come on. - No, no, like, no. - Dude... Like, it's not real, like... Bro, they're just being jealous, bro. They're just jealous 'cause you're getting that... Oh, yeah, that's a catfish. Oh, you getting catfished like a motherfucker! - Oh, my God! - Right, dude? - Bro... - What does she... Straight up, I'm-a send myself this one, honestly. Honestly, dude, she's fucking fake. She thinks I'm hot. How? You guys never even seen each other. How come you guys don't FaceTime? Tell Scotty why you don't FaceTime. Her phone camera's broken, but she sent me all these photos. - Yeah. - Bro, these are Google Images. - Exactly, dude. - Shit, you don't know that. Maybe-maybe this girl is, uh, is into Igor. Well, you know, he's-he's, you know, cute. Yo, like, you don't even know how to talk to girls. What do you even talk to her about?
The King of Staten Island
58.6s
Why would you rob a pharmacy? I wasn't robbing a pharmacy, okay? I was the lookout, for your information. The lookout is also committing a crime. Are you fucking crazy? Look, it's all Ray's fault, okay? He's trying to kick me out. So I panicked and made a bad decision, okay? I'm only human! A bad decision? That's a felony. Yeah, so? I didn't even, I didn't even go inside, all right? Uh, it's not... I'm untouchable. I didn't do anything, all right? Uh, i-it's Ray, okay? He... I-I know he's up to something. - He's trying to erase Dad. - Can you just let Mom be happy? She is happy. Well, she will be, you know, once I get rid of that guy. He's hiding shit, okay? He's hiding shit. He's a weasel. I-I'm onto him. This is why I didn't want to leave, 'cause now all your crazy's focused on Mom. I'm not doing anything crazy, okay? Doing nothing would be crazy. I'm doing something, okay? I'm taking action! Leave Mom alone. Stop acting like you. What's that mean?! You ruined my Halloween party. You know, you know what? You know what? Go enjoy your party. I-I got this. You don't got this. Don't do anything. I got this. Don't do anything!
The King of Staten Island