Found 722 results

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2.4s
Lori, wait, please.

Ted

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1.2s
Shit!

Ted

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6.8s
Okay, so, if you need anything... Yeah, I know. Don't worry, Johnny, I'll be fine.

Ted

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8.8s
Rex was forced to give up his pursuit of Lori. Not long afterward, he fell into a deep depression and died of Lou Gehrig's disease.

Ted

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2s
Rex, I got to go.

Ted

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1.2s
Please.

Ted

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1.3s
SAM: How we doing, ace?

Ted

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6.4s
JOHN'S MOM: Listen to your father! Come here! Helen, get my gun. Dad, no! Is it a hugging gun? Helen, get my gun, and call the police!

Ted

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19.8s
(STAMMERS) I think I need to clear the air here a little. Yeah, I'm kind of a fun-time boss and what-not. But, look, man, I do that with everybody at the office. I'm a kook. I have no designs on your girlfriend. We work together, and that's it. I think you're a great guy and she's a very lucky girl.

Ted

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1.6s
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Ted

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4.4s
Where are you going? Taking a cab. I'm going home.

Ted

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6.1s
Well, you know, I don't have to be at work for another 20 minutes.

Ted

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15.4s
Lori, the worst that can happen is that you go on a fun, casual date with a guy who just wants a chance to prove that he can be something more than a jerk. Plus, you are a huge catch. And it's about time someone treated you that way.

Ted

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2.9s
If you can cover for me, I'm cool with all that other shit.

Ted

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1.7s
(AUDIENCE SHOUTING)

Ted

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11.5s
You had sexual intercourse with a co-worker on top of the produce that we sell to the public. I fucked her with a parsnip last week and I sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.

Ted

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11.3s
This is Wade Boggs' autographed bat. I just barely outbid Phil Donahue for that at auction. Wow, cool. Yeah, cool. These boxing gloves were worn by Joe Louis in his first fight.

Ted

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4.2s
Well, that's good to hear. Yeah. (CELL PHONE RINGING)

Ted