Okay. Oh, I didn't know Rite Aid made Christmas decorations. So I have the whole week planned out. On Thursday, we'll see "The Nutcracker." And then, of course, on Friday, we'll all go caroling. Unfortunately, Mike was our baritone and you're divorcing him. So we're gonna have to fill that hole if we're gonna win the Caroling Cup this year. Oh, God, the Caroling Cup? Darling, when I lived here we won the Caroling Cup nine times. It's too bad you've given up on our family's tradition of winning. Yeah, I guess I've just been a little busy, so... Well, clearly not at the gym. Whoop. I want to celebrate my triumphant return to Chicago. I wanna throw an enormous Christmas party at your house. So I was thinking Christmas Eve, if that's convenient. What? No. That's not convenient. I mean, we can invite all of my old friends and we can have a sushi station and we can hire Kenny G to play Christmas music. I hear he's not even that expensive anymore. Yeah, okay, that-that sounds like a lot of work. Yeah. It's too bad, I've already invited everyone. - Where, to my house? - Yes. A 184 people are coming. What? Why haven't I gotten a Christmas card from you yet? I don't know, mom. I-I-I guess it just fell through the cracks. What is happening with you? Nothing. Nothing's happening to me. Amy, this is Christmas. It's the big show. - I know. - You can't dick around. - I'm not dicking around. - I feel you're dicking around. Mom, I'm honestly not dicking around. Yes, you are dicking around. I can tell when you're dicking around. I'm not dicking around. - Dick, dick around. - Okay. Okay. I'm not dicking around. Alright, enough with the bad language. Okay. - I like your hair. - Really? Yeah, it looks like you're not trying so hard. Yeah. Love you.
A Bad Moms Christmas
21.7s
It's like living with Saddam Hussein. My mom is only staying with me because I think she wants to steal my TV. Oh, I have to go Christmas tree shopping with my mother tonight. Yeah, it's like, it's like going on a seven-hour death march around the city. My daughter really wants a Happy Happy Princess Doll and I have looked everywhere for it and I don't know where it is.
A Bad Moms Christmas
1.2s
Oh...
A Bad Moms Christmas
22s
I'm sorry we're late. Hank drives like a girl. Merry Christmas, grandma and grandpa! Merry Christmas, grandpa! - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, dad. Here, have some X-Boxes. - Are you serious? - Thank you so much. Mum would never let us have these. Thank you. Hi, Ms. Redmond, I'm Jessie. It's so nice to meet you. Please take the bags upstairs. Gracias.
A Bad Moms Christmas
17.8s
And Kent. I am so happy that you're able to get an erection again. Yay! And Kiki. He's so much bigger than your dad was. Okay, mom, thanks, you can go before my husband never has sex with me again. Yup.
A Bad Moms Christmas
6.6s
Oh, no, not you, sasquatch. I can't handle you right now. Hmm, let's see.
A Bad Moms Christmas
6.1s
I'm tryin' to be more responsible and shit. Oh, you always were so weird.
A Bad Moms Christmas
5.5s
Oh, my God, that's like 50 more vaginas. Okay, who's next?
A Bad Moms Christmas
7s
Oh, my God! Ah! My God! My God! Oh, my God!
A Bad Moms Christmas
1m12s
Okay, um, I'm gonna need you to, uh, put your heels over your head so I can start to go to town on your taint and your butthole. - Yep. - Great. Thanks. - Alright. - Okay. Let's get these out of the way. Right. There we go. Great, great, great. Carla, uh... At the risk of sounding forward um, would you be willing to come with me to my Sexy Santa Competition tonight? Uh, well, I-I don't date my clients, Ty. I have a really strict code. Yeah. Oh, of course you do. Are you kidding me? I know. And I know. And-and you should. You should have a... I'm just fuckin' with you, Ty. I don't have a code! I'm waxing your butthole. I would love to go to your show. - You would? - Yes! Yes! Oh, my God. She's funny and she's beautiful. This is a combination you don't run into every day, you know. Well, you don't see this combo that often, either. So it's a date, then. I'll see you tonight. It's a date. Oh, um, do you want me to reach down there and-and I can pull my butt crack open for you if you want. Thank you. No one's ever asked if they could hold their butt crack open for me before. I'll hold my butt crack open for you anytime you want, Carla.
A Bad Moms Christmas
10.9s
Oh, my God. If I have to wax one more pussy today I'm gonna black out. Since when did every woman in America need a completely hairless vagina on Christmas?
A Bad Moms Christmas
2.1s
Anyone else here for a wax?
A Bad Moms Christmas
1.5s
Is that Santa?
A Bad Moms Christmas
41.5s
Oh, yeah. No, honey, those were... Those were happy screams. They didn't sound happy. And then you punched the wall and yelled the F-word. Okay, I-I, um... Yeah, I don't, I don't really recall doing that, so, yeah. - I don't know if that happened. - You did. You were like, "Oh, my fucking God!" Just like that. "Oh, my fucking God!" Okay, alright. Shh! Shh! Um, here's the thing. Your dad and I were just playing a fun little grown-up game. You played the game seven times. Six and a half. But who's counting? Here's the thing, let's just not... Let's just not talk about this. - Cool? - Cool. - High-five. Awesome. - Got it.
A Bad Moms Christmas
32.1s
Bernard, let's hang 'em on the tree. Okay, buddy? Oh, who put the big brown ornament right on the front of the tree? - It looks like doodie. - Yes, it does, baby. And that's why mommy's gonna move it around back. Oh, no, sweetie we don't drink the tree water. We don't drink the tree water 'cause we're people, right? Mommy, is there a Santa Claus? You bet there is, buddy. - I know. - Are you lying to me, mommy? Oh, God, make it stop. What else have you lied about? - Hey, babe. - Hey, dad. - Hi, guys. - Hi. - You alright? - Yeah.
A Bad Moms Christmas
38.3s
I love this picture. And look, you were just getting your little tiny breasts. - Well, one of 'em, anyway. - You just got here. Let's not talk about my breasts. - Then the other one popped out. - Yeah. Thank goodness! Oh, Keeks! If you play your cards right, you could get a sweatshirt just like this for Christmas. Oh, no. Oh, Kiki Dee, I cannot wait to spend every waking minute of the next three weeks with you. Hmm... Oh! Hmm... Are you smelling my hair? Yes.
A Bad Moms Christmas
24.9s
Hah! Merry Christmas, Kiki! - Mom? Hi! - Oh... my... gosh! I thought you weren't coming until Friday. Well, I just hopped on an earlier flight. - Three days earlier? - Oh. I-I haven't made up the guest bedroom or anything. That's okay. I'll just sleep with you. Big spoon, little spoon. I usually sleep with my husband now. Hey, you wanna see the sweatshirt I made?