Because this is a college seminar, and that's how college seminars work. Professor gets into a lively conversation with the student. Friction creates fire, and that leads to lessons learned. Well, it's definitely harder to get drugs. I can personally tell you that. The average price of cocaine has dropped 70% in the last 30 years. Then your dealer's probably selling you some pretty stepped-on shit. (STUDENTS LAUGHING) Mr. mcquaid, college is a wonderful place. This is where you get to decide who you actually are, instead of the person that you're clearly pretending to be right now, which everyone sees through, by the way. You got to decide, do I just keep doing the same thing, or am I gonna choose a different path and question my convictions?
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43.8s
Greedy man hands! ...a slam poem in her honor. Early stages, very early stages. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Wouldn't it be better just to, like, plan the stuff out ahead of time, and then not say it in front of people and embarrass yourself? That's a thing that people do. That's stand-up comedy. That's probably what you should do, because that stuff's funny. My brown nipple will produce white milk during lactation... What do you think of this? I actually think it's really powerful. That's cool that you said that, 'cause I actually thought it was really powerful, too, when the one girl was talking about her nips and shit. (APPLAUSE) Okay, does anybody have anything they want to share? Let's see what you got. Any more poets in the audience? I... I mean, do you really do poetry?
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2.2s
I'm... I'm writing a...
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36.5s
He's Brad's brother. He follows him around everywhere, so I doubt we get Brad without Doug. That's not true. I have a serious girlfriend. I got a bad feeling about this guy, dude. Why? Why? I was talking to him for a second. He's got a big mouth, okay? I feel like he could fuck this whole thing up for us. See, you're fucking this up. You talk way too much. That guy is harmless, dude. Look at him, he's nice. ROOSTER: He looks like a 30-year-old eighth grader. ZOOK: He's gonna be fine. I'm just saying, the kid sucks. Okay, and Brad. Brad could be, like, our guy. He could, like, be a part of our thing. Our thing? Yeah. Shh. I'm trying to hear them be nice about me. This is fucking bullshit. Shit!
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1.3s
Yeah.
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1.2s
Whoa!
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1.9s
Spring break, motherfucker.
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5s
Yeah? Sure. Okay, so I guess I'll just catch you later, then.
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1.2s
Fuck you, doves!
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8.3s
You okay? No, you can't hug me right now. Do you need money for a cab or anything? No, I don't need money for a cab.
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5.6s
Where the hell have you been? Looking for you. I've been running like crazy! Hey! Hey.
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15.5s
That was way too fast and pretty... Way too... A little bit too furious. Schmidt! Get over here! I'm handcuffed! (GUNSHOT) (ALL GASP) Give it up, asshole! And nice parking job! Fuck! I'll be right back. I gotta go. I'll be right back. Sorry. That's a direct order, motherfucker! Come over here!
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1.3s
How do you drive this thing?
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2.4s
(SOMBER ROCK BALLAD PLAYING)
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♪ ♪ ♪ wait, we just here trying to find us ♪ schmidt went lookin', till he found love ♪ got his life sweet, bon appetit ♪ spring break, bitch, throw a party on the beach ♪ shit did change, but all that means ♪ is that your real friends don't ever leave ♪ will it ever be complete? ♪ Jump street won't ever cease ♪ ever cease ever cease ♪ ever cease ever cease ♪ ever cease ever cease ♪ ever cease ever cease ♪ ever cease ever cease ♪ ever cease ever cease ♪
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30.1s
I don't think he's the guy, either. Yeah? I looked into the ghost's background, and I saw that he pays tuition for a student at mc state. You think the ghost could be the supplier's dad? Maybe. Okay, that's a pretty good piece of information. Thank you. Well, I heard whyphy's coming back in a big way. Someone's bringing a shit-ton of that stuff down to puerto, Mexico, for spring break. And if that happens, whyphy is going viral. It's gonna be at every college in the country. I think my information was stronger. Look, if you... If you want to, we could go down there.
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1.2s
(CAR HONKING)
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1.2s
JENKO: You in the zone, bro? ZOOK: In the fucking zone, dude.