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American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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CHEERLEADERS: Blue and white... COMMENTATOR 1. Shearson's bringing the ball up court. He passes it off to Scott Stifler.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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That means he wasn't being serious.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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You two, stay amazing. My God.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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Then speed her up.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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(IN FRENCH ACCENT) I am Monique.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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Hey. What's up, Ashley? What are you pillow biters doing here? Stifler.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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Douche bag.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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We need to reconstruct the bible. Why? The secrets are in there. I mean, there's no one single answer to getting laid. Right? We need the whole book to understand. Probably has a lot of crap in there that we need to know, too, like positions, techniques, angle of insertion. Exactly. That's what the bible was created for, to help guys like us. And we owe it to the others. I ruined the bible.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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Hello? ROB: Hi: May I speak to Noah Levenstein, please? Speaking. Are you the one who created the bible? No, that would be God. No, no, no: Hold on. I'm referring to the bible. I'm calling from East Great Falls High School.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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I thought I had the answers. It's too bad that 99% of the bible's completely unreadable.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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How do you know about that? Who do you think is forwarding all those videos to Mom?

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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I owe it to future generations to restore its wisdom. Dude, I'm all for it, but how?

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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LUBE: This must be the guy who created the bible.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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ROB: I'm ready to give up.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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How was she?

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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Oh.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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Honey, I know that I can't stop you from doing certain things, but I can insist that you are safe.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love