- Can I ask you another question? LISA: Sure. You probably get this a lot. This isn't the real Caesars Palace, is it? What do you mean?
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5.8s
- What's this? - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy, little man. You don't wanna be touching that.
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2.8s
- You did pull out your own tooth. - L...?
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That's it. Shut up, bitches.
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What's on your arm?
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1.7s
Vegas.
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1.7s
[GASPS]
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My man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ.
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2.2s
[TIGER GROANING]
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1m2s
GIRL: Fat Jesus. FRANKLIN: All right, now, it's real simple. All you gotta do is point, aim and shoot. All right? Okay, look. You don't really wanna do this. You can do this. Just focus. Don't listen to this maniac. Let's think this through. Finish him! PHIL: Oh, fuck. FRANKLIN: Yeah! [GRUNTING & FRANKLIN LAUGHING] Right in the nuts! That was beautiful. [KIDS LAUGH] - Well done. Give her a hand, everybody. - Good job. Good job. Good job. Well done. Good job. That was great. Good. Hey, we got one more charge left. Anybody wanna do some shooting up here? How about you, big man? Come on up here. Okay, same instructions. Just point, aim and shoot.
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40.7s
WOMAN: Hi, welcome to Caesars. STU: Hello. WOMAN: Checking in? Yeah. We have a reservation under Dr. Price. LISA: Okay, let me look that up for you. Dr. Price? Stu, you're a dentist, okay? Don't try and get fancy. - It's not fancy if it's true. - He's a dentist. Don't get too excited. And if, uh, someone has a heart attack, you should still call 911. We'll be sure to do that. Can I ask you a question? Do you know if the hotel's pager-friendly? - What do you mean? - I'm not getting a sig on my beeper. - I'm not sure. ALAN: Is there a payphone bank? Bunch of payphones? Business. Um, there's a phone in your room. That'll work.
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33.5s
[TIGER GROWLS] - Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding. ALAN: See? See? - There's a tiger in there. - No, there isn't. Yeah! - It's big. Gigantic. - You okay, buddy? No. I am in so much pain right now. Goddamn. Look at this place. Whew. I know. Phil, they have my credit card downstairs. I am so screwed. How does a tiger get in the bathroom? It almost killed me. Hey, bro? You mind putting on some pants? I find it a little weird I have to ask twice. ALAN: Pants at a time like this? I don't have any p...
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10.1s
[CHUCKLES] I'm pretty sure that's illegal too. Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.
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5s
- Wow. All right. PHIL: Oh, thank God. You see?
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3.4s
But if one of my kids went missing on a field trip...
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2.5s
- I'm learning all kinds of vino factoids. - Hi.
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Hey, Phil, look.
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And I promise for as long as we're married... ...to never, ever put you through anything like this again.