Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? It's not home, but it'll do just fine. What a lovely bed. - Got ya. - [Sniffs] I found some cheese. - Ow! [Grunts] - Blah! Awful stuff.
Shrek
10.5s
[Creaking] [Sighs] I thought I told you to stay outside. - I am outside. - [Clattering] [Clattering]
Shrek
2.6s
[Man's Voice] All right. This one's full.
Shrek
2.1s
[Sighs]
Shrek
3.2s
Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.
Shrek
2m19s
Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort... which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle... guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep... in the highest room of the tallest tower... for her true love and true love's first kiss. [Laughing] Like that's ever gonna happen. - [Paper Rustling, Toilet Flushes] - What a load of-- Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I am not the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an L on her forehead The years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do So much to see So what's wrong with taking the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mould It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored - Hey, now, you're an all-star - [Shouting] Get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mould [Belches]
Shrek
1m14s
I don't give a damn about my reputation - You're living in the past It's a new generation - Damn! - [Whinnying] - A girl can do what she wants to do And that's what I'm gonna do And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me - Me, me, me - Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me! And I don't give a damn about my reputation Never said I wanted to improve my station Ah! [Laughs] - And I'm always feeling good when I'm having fun - Yeah! And I don't have to please no one The chair! Give him the chair! And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me Me, me, me Oh, no, no, no, no Not me, not me - Not me - [Bell Dings] - [Cheering] - [Laughs] Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! - [Shrek Laughs] - [Crowd Gasping, Murmuring]
Shrek
18.8s
You there. Ogre! Aye? By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorised to place you both under arrest... and transport you to a designated... resettlement facility. Oh, really? You and what army?
Shrek
5.9s
[Grunts, Gasps] [Man] Get him! This way! Turn!
Shrek
2.6s
Let the tournament begin!
Shrek
4.1s
What kind of quest?
Shrek
1.7s
It's quiet.
Shrek
8.7s
[Chuckles] [Sighs] [Instrumental Muzak]
Shrek
2.1s
[Turnstile Clatters]
Shrek
2.9s
[Whimpering, Groans]
Shrek
12.8s
- Hey, you! - [Screams] Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat ya. - I just-- I just-- - [Whimpering] [Sighs]
Shrek
24.3s
But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it. So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. [Donkey] Uh-huh. That's the place. Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? [Laughs] [Groans] Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek. Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
Shrek
2m26s
- [Gasping] - Oh! - Magic mirror-- - Don't tell him anything! No! - [Gingerbread Man Whimpers] - Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically you're not a king. Uh, Thelonius. - You were saying? - What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. - Go on. - [Chuckles] So,just sit back and relax, my Lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, faraway. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! And last, but certainly not least, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead... from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? - Two! Two! - Three! Three! - Two! Two! - Three! Three? One? [Shudders] Three? Three! Pick number three, my Lord! Okay, okay, uh, number three! Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. If you love pina coladas - And getting caught in the rain - Princess Fiona. - If you're not into yoga - She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go-- But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. - I'll do it. - Yes, but after sunset-- Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.