Oh hey, stay away from that tuna casserole. The one in the middle tastes like ass.
Fatherhood
4.9s
Matt. -Jordan, I don't-- -Come here. Nope, come here. Bring it in. You need this.
Fatherhood
2.2s
[voice breaks] My mom made that casserole, Oscar.
Fatherhood
2.5s
-[man] Matt. Hey, man. -Hey. What's goin' on?
Fatherhood
6.7s
I don't, um… I don't know what to say.
Fatherhood
1s
Bring it in.
Fatherhood
6.2s
-You good on the fish? -[Matt] I don't want the fish, man. -[Jordan] How you doin'? -Good. You? [chuckles] I'm doin' fine. Here you go.
Fatherhood
43.6s
[Matt] Oh, here we go. This is, uh… this is your diaper rash ointment for you. This one's Maddy's. Just do… do his separate. Here. Just put yours over there so she knows that you have to pay for the stuff that you got for your problem by yourself. And this one's the one I'm paying for for Maddy. -That's yours. This is Maddy's. -Okay. He says situa-- I mean… -Bumps. -Bumps. But it's… it's shavin' bumps. -On your butt. -[Jordan] Not on my butt. -I have shavin' bumps from shavin' and-- -On your… And I saw a video that people use diaper rash ointment to keep their skin clear from gaining shavin' bumps. That's why I got such a smooth neck. -Look how-- -You look great… -I look great? -Yeah. See, look at that. Yeah, she said I look great. Ask to see his butt.
Fatherhood
17s
Okay. Why do you keep acting like you dumb, huh? Because I didn't see it, I'm acting like I'm dumb? You acting like a dumb mother-fudger right now. -Don't cuss at me in front of my child. -I didn't. I called you a mother-fudger. Why are you sayin' "fudge"? There's a baby. I don't wanna curse in front of the baby. So why not just choose another word? I did. "Fudge."
Fatherhood
14.9s
See, it's not… Just reach under and flip the switch. I did reach under. It's broken. You've always been so impatient. Stop. This ain't got nothin' to do with patience! I'm telling you I'm trying to do it, and you just-- I can't! I can't, Mom!
Fatherhood
8.7s
[laughs] I don't have no kids. This is for my friend. This for his baby. You know, man, he's buyin' all this stuff. [laughing] He's paying for everything.
Fatherhood
9.4s
I don't see it. I don't see the eighth 4… 44-millimeter screw. I don't see it. You're not even looking for real. Look… look next to your shoe. Look.
Fatherhood
6.6s
Man. You know, your daddy is a witch. Yeah, I said it. He's a dumbass witch. [Maddy cooing]
Fatherhood
4.5s
"Now insert the eighth 44-millimeter screw."
Fatherhood
2.6s
Goofy mother-fudger. [chuckles]
Fatherhood
17.7s
You chased me with Mike's hockey stick. [chuckles] You kept… you kept yellin' out, "Not in this house. Not in this house!" You thought you were gonna get lucky that night. You got damn lucky, didn't you? [laughs] It's amazing what you can do when you're scared. I've never been that fast. The room looks different.
Fatherhood
11.4s
[sighs] All the girls are wearing skirts, but skirts make me feel like I forgot my pants. But she said it's a rule. Rules? We don't need no stinkin' rules.
Fatherhood
13s
[Maddy] Wake up, Daddy! It's a school day! -Wake up! -I'm up. You gotta treat it like a… like you're sneaking up on it and grab it. Over, under, over.