Buddy, I got you a little something for your first day at your new job. Don't think about how much it cost, it's not much.
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5.1s
Don't blow it. Play big.
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19s
Oh, cr... - The thing. You mean our divorce? Do you take any of this seriously? No, no! Yes, I take this seriously. I had to leave the country very suddenly, uh... ...with the Mayan... Inca, I'm with the Incas in Peru. We think we might have found the next...
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20.5s
Are you with a girl? No, no. It's, uh, a bunch of cheerleaders. So would you consider maybe dating a 10th-grader? I think we could go for full custody. No, you can't take my kids away from me. Since when do you care? Look...
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4.9s
- You're looking. Stop it, stop it. - I'll look at him. Hey, twinkle douche.
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1.9s
So how come we never met?
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3s
No phones, no texting.
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1.2s
...Rogaine.
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10.6s
Is that the guy who taped you to the toilet? Yeah. Yesterday he shoved me in a washing machine in my own house. - What was that jerk doing at your house? - It's Maggie's boyfriend.
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1.6s
Well...
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3.4s
He's looking. Don't make eye contact. He's kind of temperamental.
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2.4s
...I'm very disappointed in your sister.
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5.9s
Oh, uh... - Nicole. - Are you two going out? No, no, she's the, uh, head cheerleader.
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2s
This looks good.
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22.9s
- Oh, that's weird. Is your mom hot? - Dude, what...? - What do I say to that? - I was joking. Joking, dude. Stan. I hate that guy. - Oh. - Thanks. What? - Huh. - Freshman. Good sandwich.
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10.6s
She'd never go out with me. You know, when I first met your mother, I was so nervous... You met my mother? - What? - My mother. You said, "The first time I met your mother, I was nervous. "
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1.5s
Who's that?
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13.2s
So since we're practically family and all... ...my dad says we should just keep an eye on each other, you know? Uh, yeah. Why not? Next time you could get there before they tape me to the toilet. You got it.
