- [ Laughs ] - SAM: I've tried his warm-up. - It does not work for me. - So unsettling. CHRIS: Just bought a laser printer. Printed out, like, six lasers so far. - Maybe. - KUMAIL: Hey, DODD. Uh, Dalavan's in the crowd tonight. - Can I do ten? - No, five minutes.
The Big Sick
8.1s
You put out chairs, you do five minutes. - You know the deal. - Come on, man. I'll double it up next time. Come on. What are you gonna do in there? I'm making up next week's schedule. Okay, cool.
The Big Sick
7.9s
Who's Bob Dalavan? Bob Dalavan works for the Montreal Comedy Festival, you fucking doof. - He's here? - CJ: Yes. Don't you want to get noticed?
The Big Sick
3.4s
Don't you want to move to L.A.? Hang out with Elijah Wood, and shit?
The Big Sick
14.5s
So, these are my real journals, honestly. And this is the woman who wrote them. - Poor gal. - [ Audience laughs ] Yeah. She-- She has no idea that, like, giant titties are about to sprout and change her life dramatically.
The Big Sick
1.3s
Bob Dalavan.
The Big Sick
29.2s
♪ Somethin's wrong 'cause my mind is fading ♪ ♪ And everywhere I look there's a dead end waiting ♪ ♪ Temperature's dropping at the rotten oasis ♪ ♪ Stealing kisses from the leprous faces ♪ ♪ Got a devil's haircut in my mind ♪ ♪ Got a devil's haircut in my mind ♪ ♪ Got a devil's haircut in my mind... ♪
The Big Sick
27.4s
So, uh, thank you, guys... There's no bad crowds, dude, only bad comedians. You complain about the crowd, like, all the time. Yeah, like, that's when they're really bad. That's, like, 90% of the time they're really bad. Look, will you just watch and give me notes tonight? All right? If we both give each other notes, I think it helps. Your notes are just, "Add more fucks into the bit." - That doesn't help anybody. - Hey, fuck's a funny word. It's soft on the top, and it's hard on the end. That was truly horrible. - That was so bad. - What happened? - Just watch. - I'll watch, give you notes. - All right. Thank you. - Hey, that was great. No, he didn't even crack a smile. - I thought I was gonna puke. - Who?
The Big Sick
4.3s
I mean, we played cricket, which is just a spicier version of baseball.
The Big Sick
8.7s
I grew up in Pakistan. And people are always asking me, "What was that like?" [ Scattered laughter ] Really not that different from here.
The Big Sick
2.5s
Um, I'll tell you about myself.
The Big Sick
2s
- [ Applause continues ] - [ Cheering continues ]
The Big Sick
9s
- Emily's parents are here. - Aunts, aunts, aunts, aunts. - Tonight? Why? - Get it? 'Cause it's "aunt." It's "aunts." It's "aunts." All right, forget it. All right. [ Audience laughing ] Uh, is anybody here from out of town?
The Big Sick
6.6s
- So this is good news? - It's very good news. - Yeah. - We'll just hold on to her for a few more days, and then you can have her back.
The Big Sick
5.4s
- Kumail? - All right, I'll tell you. - Tell. - I was...
