Found 285 results
35.9s
Think we're gonna take these pansy Spinners tonight? Oh, man, we can't take the Spinners, - you might as well just shut it down. - Mm. We should just pack it in, send these guys back to Single-A. My kid's Little League team could give these guys a run for their money. These guys are all on the job, too. The old ballbuster here... he's the senior man of the house. Did you call me a senior? You're the one who's bald. Come on, Papa. I'm just fucking around. Hey, you want a hot dog? Oh, no, I can't. I, uh, I have Crohn's. What's that? It's, like, when the lining of your stomach is all messed up, so it makes you shit all the time. Oh, thanks for sharing.
The King of Staten Island
1m58s
Hey, honey. I made you an omelet. What are you gonna wear to your sister's graduation party? I was thinking, what about one of your dad's suits? I don't know. I-I don't think I'm really a suit guy, you know? Plus-plus, all those suits are out of style, so... You know, I thought they were back in style. And... can you not smoke pot before the party? Why? Because it smells. You smell bad. And no vaping because they're gonna think it's pot. The uncle is a cop. We don't need that kind of trouble. Fuck that guy. I hate this family. They're so rich and snooty. They've been really nice to Claire. Hey, Mom. You got me the plastic containers. I just need the cardboard boxes I can throw away. But they're so good for storing things. Yeah, but I don't have any storage. My closet's, like, two feet wide. Hey, Claire, do you even want me at your graduation party? Do I want you to go? I don't care. Just... It's weird if you don't go. That wasn't exactly a warm invitation. Yeah, well, it's not the part I'm looking forward to most. But I want you to be there. - She wants you to go. - No, she doesn't. - She just said it. - No, I don't want him to go. He has to go. Just don't sit on the couch in the corner the whole time. - It's weird. - No, I don't see the problem with sitting in the corner, okay? There's some people that go to the party and dance, and there's some people that sit in the corner. I'm the corner guy. Accept your brother. Also, don't try to fuck Layla, okay? She told you she's not interested. What are you talking about? I never tried to hook up with her. She's always trying to fuck me, and I-I have to avoid it at all costs, out of respect for you. I just thought she looked really good in those pants. - Jesus. - Thought that was a nice thing to say. - Just don't. - I didn't know I would get MeToo'd for it. Dad's suits are vacuum-sealed in the garage. - Yeah? - Just pick yourself a nice one. You have to look nice. We're celebrating your sister's achievements. You're gonna miss her when she's gone. Yeah. Celebrate me.
The King of Staten Island
1m27s
Round two. Fight! Yo, where'd you get this? This shit does not taste very good. What are you talking about? This shit's fire, dawg. Do you guys even really get high anymore? I-I don't really think I get high anymore. I think I just kind of am myself. I haven't been high in a while, man. But I still do it. I like the lifestyle. I'm mad high. Yo, tell Scotty about how you're being catfished. - Who? - You! How you're being catfished, bro. Tell him the truth. You got a girlfriend? What's up? - No. - Yeah. - That's awesome. - Yes. Her name is Carla. - We talk on the phone. - Nah, dude. Like, this girl, like, slid into his DMs, and, like, I don't know, she, like, asked him out or whatever. - But hundred percent a trick, dude. - She... - She's bad, but that's not yours. - Why? And she's, like, so hot, dude. Yo, she, like, hangs out on yachts. - Like, yo. - Oh, come on. - No, no, like, no. - Dude... Like, it's not real, like... Bro, they're just being jealous, bro. They're just jealous 'cause you're getting that... Oh, yeah, that's a catfish. Oh, you getting catfished like a motherfucker! - Oh, my God! - Right, dude? - Bro... - What does she... Straight up, I'm-a send myself this one, honestly. Honestly, dude, she's fucking fake. She thinks I'm hot. How? You guys never even seen each other. How come you guys don't FaceTime? Tell Scotty why you don't FaceTime. Her phone camera's broken, but she sent me all these photos. - Yeah. - Bro, these are Google Images. - Exactly, dude. - Shit, you don't know that. Maybe-maybe this girl is, uh, is into Igor. Well, you know, he's-he's, you know, cute. Yo, like, you don't even know how to talk to girls. What do you even talk to her about?
The King of Staten Island
27.3s
- Yeah, we knew. - Yeah, we knew. - We don't like to talk about it. - We knew. That's why we don't bring it up. - Apologize to Scott. - It's the right thing to do. - You should say sorry. - Apologize or get out. It's not okay. Scott, um, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry - that I asked about your tattoo. - Yeah. What? He doesn't care. It's fine. - He doesn't care. - Look at him. - He's laughing so much. - I don't care. We talk about his dead dad all the time.
The King of Staten Island
1m46s
- Whew! - Oh! - Oh! - Ooh, God! - Awesome. - Hell yeah. Ew! That's my shit. This movie makes no sense. Why-why would the government make a purge legal? - Clearly to let them blow off some steam. Hello. - Yeah. - That's why you go to the spa. - Yeah. Or the therapist. - Or get your nails done. - Or... Or murder some folks. Hmm? I mean, come on, guys. I-I brought Tara over so that we could get out of this basement. Let's go out. Let's go dancing. - I love dancing. - Let's do something. We don't go out. We don't dance. - The Purge is not enough for you? - No. Does anybody else like dancing? - I like it. - Yes, me! - You do? - I love dancing. Yes. He loves... He's a really good dancer. What's your favorite move? It's kind of like a shake. - A shake? That's... - I don't know. I just do whatever the m-music tells me to do. There's nothing but douchebags at these clubs. - I love it here, man. It's safe. - Oh, but, come on. God, you just sit here all day, - and then smoke weed and jerk each other off. - Yeah. That sounds amazing. I've never been jerked off by any of my friends. Me, either. I like your tattoos. - I knew you would, right? - Those are... - Oh, my God. That... - No, don't talk to him. - He has, he has chlamydia. - I had. - Oh, my God. - Had chlamydia. - It's curable. - And you introduced me to the girl that gave me chlamydia, so you basically gave me chlamydia. You assisted the chlamydia. He doesn't have insurance. - He can't get the meds. - It's fine. I act... I actually did some of those. You did? You know I got to rep the island. - Hey. - Staten Island. - Wow, Staten. - S.I., you know. - Yeah. - Looks so good. - Thank you. - You have a bunch of tattoos also. - Yeah. - What is that date? - Oh. - Ooh. Uh, that's, uh, the date my Dad died. Oh, my God, your dad died? I'm so sorry. Don't be. It's fine. It's totally cool. - So, what happened? - Ooh! - Okay, you don't need to ask. - No. - No, no, no, no. - Don't ask that. It's kind of inappropriate. Uh, he was a, he was a fireman. So, he died in a fire. Oh, my God.
The King of Staten Island
49.7s
They went to high school together. They went to fucking high school together. I'm like, "Only Stan could get away with that." I swear to God. Well, you know, the rumor is that he got the coke from the cops. Not that cop. There was another cop he knew in Manhattan. What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No. - Coke? What? No. - Guys, guys, guys. - Guys, it's his dad. - So? - I didn't know it was a secret. - It's his dad. You can't just tease me with that. - Please, guys, but... - It was... You don't understand. My mom, my mom tells me all these stories about how much he's like a saint and all that shit. Like, I-I would love to hear a coke story. - Please. - The PG-13 version. No, you don't... No, the real version. You don't understand the amount of pressure I'm under, - thinking this guy's perfect. - All right, fuck it, fuck it. All right, we were coked out of our minds. - Nice. - All right? We all were. We all... Well, I mean, uh, we were. - But that was a different time. I mean, we all did it. - Right. This guy was the cokehead. - You were the cokehead. - All right. I stopped four years ago. You know that. What are you talk... How do you think he stayed this skinny all these years? No, I have a high metabolism. They should have his face on a nickel in Bolivia.
The King of Staten Island
1m8s
Oh, well, that's not gonna work. Why not? I could just use a hair dryer and ruin him. Keep thinking, though. What do you got? What do you like to do? - I like to sing. - You do? Could-could you sing for me? Sure. ♪ Oh, what a beautiful morning ♪ Yes. ♪ Oh, what a beautiful day ♪ All right. ♪ I've got a wonderful feeling ♪ ♪ Everything's going my way. ♪ That shit was dope. High five. She's a good singer. I don't agree with the sentiment of the song, but it was really great. Anyway, have a great day at school. Uh... I hope it's not shitty, and, um, yeah, give your, uh, sister a kiss goodbye. - We don't do that. - Just do it. See? Wasn't that nice? Now, if she dies tomorrow, you'll remember that, that you kissed her goodbye. Have a good day at school. - Later, man. - Pay attention. - Why would I die? - I don't know. You never know what's gonna happen. Think you're immortal?
The King of Staten Island
38.1s
Huh. Got here as soon as I could. Hey, man, we got to help this guy. He's bleeding out. This a cop? He looks like a cop. Excuse me, ma'am. Ray Bishop, Ladder 57. We got to get this guy some help. We got to move it along here. - Follow me. - Okay, come on, buddy. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Here we go, here we go, here we go. All right. Abdominal wound! There we go. Where? Where? Put him in Two. In Two. Let's get vitals. - All right, buddy. - All right, get him right here. We got to get your shirt off. Let me know if you need trauma. - Oh, shit. - Okay. Here we go. - Nice and easy, nice and easy. - I'll meet you at Six. Six.
The King of Staten Island
31.4s
♪ Ain't no music... ♪ - ♪ I ♪ - ♪ I need ♪ ♪ Need smoke ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ ♪ I need ♪ ♪ I... ♪ Sorry. I'm sorry. ♪ To smoke ♪ ♪ Who gon' hold me down now? ♪ ♪ I wanna get high, y'all ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ I wanna get high, y'all ♪ ♪ Need it, need it to get by... ♪ I'm sorry. I'm sorry. ♪ Need it to get by, y'all. ♪
The King of Staten Island
2m36s
Hey, hey, wait. Hey, hey, guys. Look, look. You can't be here, man. - Y-You got to go. - Why? It's private property, that's why. It's an abandoned orphanage. Why can't we be here? Who gives a shit, man? What are you doing here? You fucking protecting the ghosts of dead orphans? Look, fat Kanye, shut your damn mouth. I'll be back in five minutes for you assholes. If you're still here, I'm calling the cops, period. You better get the cops, man, 'cause you're a fake cop. - You need the real ones. - Motherfuckers. - Fuck all of y'all. - I feel bad. We-we were a little too mean. - Yeah. - He's nice. Yeah, he's a really good guy. See, that guy... that is what is wrong with Staten Island. We don't get any cool people from any of the other boroughs. No one comes here. We're stuck with the fucking pricks that live here. You're talking about us. Right in front of us. Yeah, kinda. I mean, no one comes here. There's no flow of people. That guy's, like, 200. We've known him since we were six. Why can't we be cool like Brooklyn? There's no reason we shouldn't be cool like Brooklyn. We got amazing views. It's close to the city. It's cheap. Nice people. It makes no sense. We're, like, the only place that New Jersey looks down on. You could see the garbage dump from space. This place is never gonna change. No, it happened to the Meatpacking District, the Village. Brooklyn used to be a fucking shithole. We are next. I'm gonna take my civil service test. I'm gonna work in the city, in city planning. You watch, this place is gonna be like fucking Williamsburg - in ten years. - No, all right? No. Nobody wants that. Why do you want to work in the city and do city planning? That sounds so boring. I feel like Brooklyn is better. I dated a guy that lived in Brooklyn. He was a mixologist. He made ice cubes out of milk. - He was so classy. - Shut up! I love Staten Island. It's amazing. And people are gonna see it soon, trust me. Well, if you love it so much, why don't you let me tattoo it on you? No, I'm not gonna let you tattoo me again. Fine. Well, I need somebody to tattoo. I'm, I-I'm running out of... Come on, Rich. What about you, man? - Don't even look at me, dude. - Why? Your work is mad inconsistent. Obama ain't right. I got the eyes wrong, okay? He's not right. All right, man, this has hurt me, all right? I don't have any black friends anymore. I can't go to a barber shop no more. You got Obama wrong. Ain't nothing worse than that. What about you, Igor? You want a dragon or something? Oh, I love your tattoos. My brother? It's a spitting image. - Yeah. It's one of the best. - It's my favorite. No, no, no, no. This is my favorite. Oh, you killed that. - Yeah, I really worked hard on the eyes. - Just... He's so cute. I love his butthole. It reminds me that I have a belly button. - So, I'm good. - Yeah, I got to go. Watching you beg to give tattoos is too sad. And that's freaking me out. We're almost done. Almost.
The King of Staten Island