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22.2s

Hey, hey! Come on! What the hell! Hey, guy, unless you want a Chipwich or some heroin, get off my ice cream truck! Who the fuck is this slob? Slob? I am a small business owner! I am the backbone of this country! I am holding a Taser! - Whoa! Shit! - Dude, should I stop? - What are you... - I'm kind of in the middle of it right here. Shit! All right.

Dirty Grandpa

19.5s

I kind of feel like we're just getting in your way. - Yeah? - I'm sure there's something... What the fuck? Did you just get naked? - It's the best way to sleep. - Oh, my God! I picked it up in Uganda from the Umbatdo. Umbat-don't let your junk touch my leg again or you're sleeping on the floor.

Dirty Grandpa

14.9s

Hey, hon, the people at the venue said they don't have enough mint napkins, so which one do you like better? The seafoam or the pistachio? I'll get it.

Dirty Grandpa

8.4s

- The mic's off. - Jason, your mic cut out. What? Your mic cut out at the most inopportune time, so we can't hear why you want to leave those images up.

Dirty Grandpa

4.5s

Apology accepted. Okay.

Dirty Grandpa

1.9s

It's a little bit weird.

Dirty Grandpa

1.9s

Look at this.

Dirty Grandpa

25.3s

Uh-oh! Has the old man fallen? Or is it... One-armed motherfucking push-ups! Holy shit! Lesbian daughter's getting in on the action! I happen to know he smoked crack last night! These push-ups are fueled by the devil's candy! Unbelievable! Your move, Dolly Parton. What are you gonna do now, team Top Gun?

Dirty Grandpa

19.3s

What is going on? What just happened? Hey. I don't even fucking know, but I'm not getting married. Okay, so that makes it okay that you were lying to me? No. No, it doesn't. But you have to admit that when we were together it felt great. - There was something real there. - Yeah.

Dirty Grandpa

7s

You sure I should be driving with this, Grandpa? Don't worry, if you spill it, this giant tampon we're driving in should soak it up.

Dirty Grandpa

8.4s

- Look at that. - Holy shit! - It's a good dick. - Oh, my God! Put that away. - It's our dick. - Yeah. I'm just relieved it's not his dick.

Dirty Grandpa

5s

Now fumble around and pretend like you're trying to find your glasses. "I'm trying to find my glasses. I can't see.

Dirty Grandpa

6.7s

- I hate photos of myself. - Why? You look beautiful.

Dirty Grandpa

1.8s

But I'll be okay.

Dirty Grandpa

2s

A play on words.

Dirty Grandpa

2.1s

Okay.

Dirty Grandpa

2.4s

I think I'm gonna call off my wedding.

Dirty Grandpa

2.6s

- Pow! - What the fuck is wrong with you?

Dirty Grandpa

Found 289 results

I kind of feel like we're just getting in your way. - Yeah? - I'm sure there's something... What the fuck? Did you just get naked? - It's the best way to sleep. - Oh, my God! I picked it up in Uganda from the Umbatdo. Umbat-don't let your junk touch my leg again or you're sleeping on the floor.

Hey, hon, the people at the venue said they don't have enough mint napkins, so which one do you like better? The seafoam or the pistachio? I'll get it.

- The mic's off. - Jason, your mic cut out. What? Your mic cut out at the most inopportune time, so we can't hear why you want to leave those images up.

Apology accepted. Okay.

It's a little bit weird.

Look at this.

What is going on? What just happened? Hey. I don't even fucking know, but I'm not getting married. Okay, so that makes it okay that you were lying to me? No. No, it doesn't. But you have to admit that when we were together it felt great. - There was something real there. - Yeah.

You sure I should be driving with this, Grandpa? Don't worry, if you spill it, this giant tampon we're driving in should soak it up.

- Look at that. - Holy shit! - It's a good dick. - Oh, my God! Put that away. - It's our dick. - Yeah. I'm just relieved it's not his dick.

Now fumble around and pretend like you're trying to find your glasses. "I'm trying to find my glasses. I can't see.

- I hate photos of myself. - Why? You look beautiful.

But I'll be okay.

A play on words.

Okay.

I think I'm gonna call off my wedding.

- Pow! - What the fuck is wrong with you?