Found 289 results
30.4s
- Hey, there he is. - No. Don't even fucking talk to me. I know things got a little chaotic, but I'm so close with Lenore... What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm about to get fucking married, Grandpa! In one week! To a Jewish girl! And I just woke up in fucking jail with a bunch of penises on my forehead in the shape of a swastika! Could call it a swasticock. - What? - It's a play on words. Oh, it's a play on words.
Dirty Grandpa
1m27s
Could I have some pants? Please... Oh, Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry. Of course. Yeah, absolutely. You want khakis or sweatpants? - Khakis, please. - What brand? You like Dockers? - Yeah. - Yeah, okay. All right. You're like a 30... Yeah, 30 is fine. What I wouldn't give to fit in a 30. Maybe 20 years ago, you know? When I was seven years old. Yeah... all right. Also I'm gonna step out and get some lunch. Do you want a sandwich? I would love a sandwich. - Ham? Turkey? - Turkey? Turkey. That's so funny, because I'm a turkey guy myself. - You know. - Thank you so much. Okay, absolutely. You want mayo on that? - Uh, no thank you, no. - Okay. - Extra veggies. - Extra veggies? - Yes, please. - You got it. Absolutely. - And... - Salt and vinegar. - You want salt and vinegar as well? - Yeah, thank you. You gotta watch that sodium. That's what drives your blood pressure up, and blood pressure is a silent killer. All right, turkey, okay... all right. Yeah. And, uh, finally, do you want to be sodomized by a man with the mental age of seven who calls himself Ping-Pong, or do you want to be shivved by, uh, the same guy? Just let me know what time works for you, 'cause you're in fucking jail.
Dirty Grandpa
37.7s
- Who's the lesbian? - That's my grandson, Jason. Yeah? Is he here to scissor with me? Okay, that's just offensive to lesbians. I am very sorry, K.D. Lang. Time for Bingo! Come on. Stinky, we got to get you the fuck out of here. - Come on, let's go. - I have one fucking month left, Dick! I don't want you to remember me like this, man. I want you to remember me as a warrior. - Please. Leave me be. - But, Stinky... No, no, no... Just let me finish, Dick. Leave me your beautiful lesbian grandson so he can blowjob me to death.
Dirty Grandpa