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21.8s
"This day I call the heavens and the earth as a witness against you..." "...that I have set before you life and death..." Hey, babe, I found the tie you're going to wear to the rehearsal brunch Sunday. Do you like the coral color or the salmon? "...that the race is not to the swift..." Either one. "...nor the battle to the strong."
Dirty Grandpa
1m38s
What's up, Nick? Fucking sucks dick about Grandma, huh? Yeah. Old woman fucking murdered like that. - Nick, she had cancer. - That's what they want you to think. She had cancer for ten years. A little too convenient, Jason. No, it's not... at all. We'll never know the truth. - We absolutely know the truth. - Yeah. Grandma had cancer for 10 years. You don't just die from cancer, Jason! It's a conspiracy, man. Just like 9/11. Oh, God. For your information, Grandma is not right here. Grandma is gone and she was taken from us, - we must find the man that did this! - Nick! Stop it! Ow, man! These are Rockports! Fuck, man! I just got these. - Calm down... - See you at the crossroads, Grandma. What are you doing? Are you kidding me? Right now? Hey, get your shit together! My dad and my fiancée are literally standing right next to us. - Beyoncé's here? - No. Your dad and fiancée are standing next to Beyoncé? - What? No. - Is Jay Z here too? - No. - Is Blue lvy here? - Nick. - I'm in the minority. I think that kid's gonna be hot. What is that? Hmm? - What are you doing? - I'm just... - Are you fucking high right now? - No, this isn't... - You're high as a kite! - It's an e-cigarette. It's filled with a little weed, but it's an e-cigarette. Grow up, man! What are you doing? "Grow up"? How adult are you? What, do you listen to NPR in your Volvo? You play racquetball competitively against business associates? - No. No. - You ever go away to a rented house with other couples and then play Scattergories - over a bottle of white wine? - Jason.
Dirty Grandpa