Number one, I'm gonna bend something. Something that was not meant to bend. I'm gonna stop you right there because I'm not gonna make it to two. I won't even make it to one. I don't do well with pain, you know. If I stub my toe, I'm done for the day. I cried when they canceled Felicity. When I get really scared, I get nervous erections. I have one right now. Don't look. It'll only make it worse. I don't want you to hurt me, and I'll tell you anything you wanna know. Except for where they are. Russell's in a convoy heading southbound on Gerry Duggan Parkway. The monster's with them. I wouldn't fuck with him. DEADPOOL: You all know the plan. Intercept the convoy, grab the boy. But not inappropriately! WEASEL: You know what, I wouldn't fuck with Deadpool either. Because he's built a team. He's unstoppable. He has an ass pen. He'll stab you with it. Watch out for this guy, Cable! He's very short, 5'11". Not like in the comics. And if we succeed, we all go home early. WEASEL: So if you go after them, Cable, I warn you... there's a wind advisory in effect.
Deadpool 2
18.6s
[CROWD EXCLAIMS] [CHUCKLES] Definitely all the way up to the elbow. Come quietly, or there will be trouble. You stole that from Robocop! That's from Robocop! Just stand down! You're embarrassing me. Look, Fire... [LAUGHS] Oh, my God! I can't say it! I'm so sorry! [GRUNTS]
Deadpool 2
2.7s
Taking the hands out of the guns of the criminals!
Deadpool 2
2s
[IN YOUR EYESPLAYING]
Deadpool 2
1.7s
[SIGHS]
Deadpool 2
1.6s
[BELL CONTINUES RINGING]
Deadpool 2
3.6s
[WADE SIGHS] I guess family really is an F-word.
Deadpool 2
2s
[INDISTINCT VOICES ECHOING]
Deadpool 2
3.5s
OLDER RUSSELL: Blessed are the wicked who are healed by my hand.
Deadpool 2
3.3s
Who are you? I'm Batman.
Deadpool 2
10.6s
But you know something? A wise woman once said to me... "Speak up." "I can't hear you with that pity dick in your mouth." Too much? I went too far. [GRUNTS] [ALL EXCLAIM]
Deadpool 2
28.4s
WEASEL: Meet... Domino. DEADPOOL: What's your shtick? I'm lucky. That's not a superpower. Yeah, it is. No, it isn't. Yes, it is. No, it isn't. Yeah, it is. No, it isn't. Yes, it is. No, it isn't. Yeah, it is. Really isn't. No, it isn't.Yes, it is. Told you. Get out of my head! I'm not in your head. I'm in an 11-year-old's bedroom. Well, if you're so lucky, then what are you doing here with us? I don't know yet. What's that supposed to mean? There's a reason why I'm here, and I'll know when I know. Everything usually just kind of works out for me. Like 2008 Ryan Reynolds.
Deadpool 2
6.4s
They're headed into the tunnel. I'm that kid's only hope, so sit tight and wait for my word.
Deadpool 2
10.4s
Once again, it all falls on my shoulders. It's why I'm cursed to be a solo act. Wander the Earth... I'm in. I'm sorry, what did you say? I'm in. How in the fuck are you in already?