All right, I got Dred Scott v. Sandford, Plessy v. Ferguson and Brown v. the Board of Education. I got Kramer vs. Kramer, Alien vs. Predator, and Freddy vs. Jason. I got, uh, Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Goes to Jail and The Importance of Being Earnest, which was very disappointing.
Ted 2
19.5s
Oh, my God, Teddy! (STUTTERS) What? What's wrong? Look at this. (SOBBING) "Dear Ted, "the state of Massachusetts regrets to inform you "that due to an oversight regarding your legal status "your marriage to Tami-Lynn McCafferty is unrecognized by the state "and, therefore, invalid and hereby annulled."
Ted 2
8.6s
No, make sure you have all the updated information on our Comic Con placement. This has to be the biggest, most impressive rollout at the convention. Morning, Mr. Jessup.
Ted 2
10s
Well, I guess it's all right. Those are the rejected sickle-cell samples. Ah, you hear that, Johnny? You're covered in rejected black-guy sperm. You look like a Kardashian. Fuck!
Ted 2
5.5s
Uh, about a mile-and-a-half. Fuck, okay. Hey, it's okay. One foot in front of the other.
Ted 2
5.8s
No, not once, not ever. When I saw this, I threw up. Almost quit medicine.
Ted 2
2.9s
Bottom line is, insemination is not possible.
Ted 2
1.2s
Uh...
Ted 2
12.7s
(SOBS) I don't understand, okay? None of this makes any sense. It's okay. It's okay, honey. Come on, let's just go. No, what does this mean, Teddy? Does it mean we can't have a baby? I don't know. But it's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay. It really isn't.
Ted 2
10s
Forgive me, that's a normal ovary. This is Tami-Lynn's. TED: Jesus! Yeah, but I bet this stuff happens a lot. You probably see this kind of stuff all the time, right?
Ted 2
7.8s
Well, I have gone through your application and vetted your personal histories, and I'm afraid this isn't gonna work out.
Ted 2
9.7s
There's another issue, and,honesHy, it's the more serious one. I was reluctant to bring it up because it's a little awkward.
Ted 2
3.4s
Hello? (BANGING) on! Fuck!
Ted 2
2.4s
I just got a call from the Labor Department.
Ted 2
3.4s
Excuse me, Doctor, your wife's on the phone. She said it's an emergency.
Ted 2
1.8s
Hey, when I'm done here, how about a drink?
Ted 2
1.9s
Excuse me, I'll be right back.
Ted 2
6.7s
(GASPS) Sweet God and baby Jesus. (BREATHES SHAKILY) And that's at rest.
