Hey, you ever touch, text, or think about our daughter ever again, and you're a dead man. I'm gonna sue you, man! You're not even her parents! Would not-her-parents do this? Sh... Miss Peppers! Whoa. Whoa. What's happening here? This man has been sending lewd comments and photos to our daughter. - You're going to jail today, Jacob! - You mind calling the police? Absolutely! Miss Peppers!
Instant Family
12.6s
Hey! Hey, you! Excuse me. I'm talking to you. - How old are you, Jump Street? - Why you want to know? - Hey, lady, gimme that. That's not yours. - He's 22! - He's 22. - Yeah, I'm 22. So what? So this won't be child abuse. Pete!
Instant Family
2.9s
He's on a Zamboni. Come on!
Instant Family
25.3s
The janitor? The adult-ass janitor? - Oh, my God. - Come on, let's get the janitor. - Hey, I'm so sorry about this. - Ellie, come on! Thank you so much! He didn't do any of that. - Come on, Ellie. - He didn't do any of it! - Hurry up! - I'm so sorry, Charlie! I think we're gonna be late for school. Ellie.
Instant Family
13.9s
I'm so sorry. Oh, God. I'm so sorry, honey. Come on, buddy, suck it up. It's a little snafu, okay? Come on. Give me a hug, Charlie. All right, look at me. Do you happen to know anybody named Jacob who might be hanging around with our daughter, Lizzy Viara?
Instant Family
52.6s
My God, it's so clean. Well, there are my little gangsters. Posting bail for my Petey. Really took me back to the good old days. - Thank you, by the way. - Where are the kids? Karen had to take them to a temporary placement for the night. She said it's the first time she's heard of CPS removing kids from their adoptive home the night before their hearing. Speaking of which, I found your statement to the judge on your printer. Needs some work. Mom, it's too late. We submitted it last week. Well, resubmit it! Jesus! "We want whatever is best for the kids, whether that means staying with us or returning to their birth mother." What if the judge reads that crap in front of Lizzy? That's why we wrote it like that, Mom. If she thinks our statement's the reason her mom doesn't get custody, she's gonna hate us more than she does now. She doesn't hate you. She just thinks you don't love her. And that statement ain't gonna help.
Instant Family
52.9s
I said that, Your Honor, but again, I thought it was the person who sent her the... Mrs. Wagner, did you at one time force Lizzy's friends to leave your home by way of a bedroom window? - It was a ground floor window. - Good. Points for you. And at that same occasion, did you tell Lizzy to call CPS and to come and take the kids? - She didn't mean that. - I did not mean that. That was in the heat of an argument. - Your Honor, I have a statement. - Yes, I've read it, thank you. - We actually wrote a new one. - Ma'am, excuse me, but I have your... Please, Your Honor, we were up late working on it. I can read it very fast. "Lizzy once asked us why we took them in. And at the time, we couldn't answer her." - Ma'am, please sit down. - Please, Your Honor, can you let me say the answer? No. Sit. This hearing is not about you. Judging by Lizzy's statement, you might be back in court soon enough, so let's save that heartwarming speech for that occasion.
Instant Family
13s
- Bye-bye, scumbag. - Filthy pedophile. Yeah. Enjoy your life as a sex offender. Pedophile. You're arresting us? The guy was sending pictures of his knob to a minor. - Why are you arresting us? - Really good. Good work, guys.
Instant Family
12.2s
- Did Lizzy tell you that? - Oh, come on, Ellie. I grew up a lot like that kid. You get reminded what a sack of shit you are five times a day, after a while, you can't believe anyone could ever love you.
Instant Family
14.8s
For what it's worth, I heard what you guys did in there. You're good parents, looking out for your kids. - If I'd had a chance to do the same... - The kids! Oh, my God! - Juan, Lita! Oh, my God, I'm so sorry! - Guys!
Instant Family
9.1s
You know that we love you, right? No. But that's not you, it's me. I thought I just covered all that.
Instant Family
2.5s
Man, I didn't even touch that girl.
Instant Family
2.4s
But I do love you both.
Instant Family
21.7s
Speaking of court, um, I just wanted to apologize for what I wrote to the judge. It was all true. It was a little out of context maybe, but there's no hard feelings. Actually, I wanted to give you the statement we wrote that we couldn't read in court, just so you have it. Yeah.
Instant Family
5.3s
Come on, buddy. You haven't touched your pasta. You want me to reheat it for you?
Instant Family
4.5s
Okay, all your court bears are in here, the new ones as well.