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8.9s

It's like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. And it hurts when I-- - Dance? - When I pee.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

2.1s

We need to talk.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

13.2s

It's time to excise that cancerous lump. Forget him. Let's crap in the chapter room and make the pledges clean it up. - It'll be fun. - I wish I could, Gordo. I got dinner at Gwen's parents' house. Sounds special. Is Wilder gonna be there?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

10.3s

- Where did you find that? - In your room a few days ago. I'm trying to spark this bong, but this damn thing won't light. That's no bong! It's for my schlong!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

2.2s

Oh, yes.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

11.6s

I want to apologize for what Richard did the other night. It was a really immature stunt. Yeah, I know... but sometimes guys can do some pretty childish things.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

15.2s

- Why do I always fail? - You put too much pressure on yourself. Don't worry about the money. I'll figure something out. More importantly... when the time is right... it'll happen. You'll find the one.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

6.5s

Definitely be out of the question unless they all agreed with us... and we talked it over.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

10s

You see, Timmy, you can't let this lead you all the time. Sometimes you've gotta heed this. I think you've got a lot of heart in there, mister, don't you?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

11.3s

Is it true that this is your seventh year at Coolidge? Carry the two-- Yes, that's correct. So what's your boyfriend's name? Does he go to school here? - Does he appreciate you? - That's none of your business. You know what? You're right.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

1.5s

Oh, my God!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

2.9s

Dad, what are you doing here?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

2.5s

Come on. We got a ball game to win.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

41.5s

This ball club is the heart of this institution. You win, it beats. You lose, it breaks. You're not boxing out, Big Papa. You're my Windex man. I want you shining glass. We gotta D up out there. Darius. I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake. What are you looking at? Your mom said you left your legs at home. For God's sake! I'd do anything for you guys... which is why I'm throwing you a little soiree tomorrow night... but not without a W tonight. You want to know why? Nobody wants to celebrate a loss, guys. Hey, man, you gonna invite those freak honeys from Mt. Holyoke? I already did. They said they'd try to make it if they weren't humping the Matadors. - The Matadors? - What?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

6.4s

Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to step away from Van's vehicle. Wilder! He's got no business parking there. That's my spot.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

7.8s

It does not look good. That's the end of the first half... and the Chickadees will need a miracle to come back and score.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

21.2s

"Lite Beer vs. Dark-- The Showdown" by Darius Grayson. - Is that the same-- - Pulitzer-prize winning Darius Grayson. He was an alumnus of our journalism staff. He wrote his best stuff in detox. Still does, I'm told. I have got a very challenging assignment for you. A story that nobody's been able to get. - About what? - No, no. It's about whom.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

17.9s

"Depression: Is Prozac really the answer?" "Famine-- Crisis in Rwanda." "Tracking Tuition: Where does our money really go?" Each article well-written and researched by our own Gwen Pearson... and each article skipped over by the majority of the student body. I don't care. I won't pander to them.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

Found 361 results

It's like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. And it hurts when I-- - Dance? - When I pee.

We need to talk.

It's time to excise that cancerous lump. Forget him. Let's crap in the chapter room and make the pledges clean it up. - It'll be fun. - I wish I could, Gordo. I got dinner at Gwen's parents' house. Sounds special. Is Wilder gonna be there?

- Where did you find that? - In your room a few days ago. I'm trying to spark this bong, but this damn thing won't light. That's no bong! It's for my schlong!

Oh, yes.

I want to apologize for what Richard did the other night. It was a really immature stunt. Yeah, I know... but sometimes guys can do some pretty childish things.

- Why do I always fail? - You put too much pressure on yourself. Don't worry about the money. I'll figure something out. More importantly... when the time is right... it'll happen. You'll find the one.

Definitely be out of the question unless they all agreed with us... and we talked it over.

You see, Timmy, you can't let this lead you all the time. Sometimes you've gotta heed this. I think you've got a lot of heart in there, mister, don't you?

Is it true that this is your seventh year at Coolidge? Carry the two-- Yes, that's correct. So what's your boyfriend's name? Does he go to school here? - Does he appreciate you? - That's none of your business. You know what? You're right.

Oh, my God!

Dad, what are you doing here?

Come on. We got a ball game to win.

Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to step away from Van's vehicle. Wilder! He's got no business parking there. That's my spot.

It does not look good. That's the end of the first half... and the Chickadees will need a miracle to come back and score.

"Depression: Is Prozac really the answer?" "Famine-- Crisis in Rwanda." "Tracking Tuition: Where does our money really go?" Each article well-written and researched by our own Gwen Pearson... and each article skipped over by the majority of the student body. I don't care. I won't pander to them.