Found 147 results
26.6s
[Grunting] - Hey! Over here. - Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a princess. No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. - Homey touches? Like what? - [Crashing] A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will. I said good night!
Shrek
2m8s
I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow... before the sun sets and he sees me... like this. [Sobs] All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Well, I am not gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7. But, Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look. Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad? I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell. But, you know, um, you're kind of an ogre, and Shrek-- well, you got a lot in common. Shrek? Princess, I-- Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and-- well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd-- uh, uh-- [Sighs] I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go. [Fiona] I can't just marry whoever want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I mean, really, who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? Princessand ugly don't go together. - That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. - [Gasps] My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my truelove. - [Deep Sigh] - Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. - You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. - No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know. What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets? Promise you won't tell. Promise! All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. - Look at my eye twitching. - [Door Opens]
Shrek
2m11s
[Fire Crackling] And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look, there's BITNET, the Fitment. - You can guess what he's famous for. - I know you're making this up. No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. That is nothing but a bunch of little dots. Sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it. [Sighs] Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? Our swamp? You know, when we're through rescuing the princess. We? Donkey, there's no we. There's no our. There's just me and my swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land. You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. - No, do ya think? - Are you hiding something? Never mind, Donkey. Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it-alone things. - Why don't you want to talk about it? - Why do you want to? - Why are you blocking? - I'm not blocking. - Oh, yes, you are. - Donkey, I'm warning you. - Who you trying to keep out? - Everyone! Okay? Oh, now we're getting somewhere. Oh! For the love of Pete! What's your problem? What you got against the whole world? I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go, Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly ogre! [Sighs] They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
Shrek
47.4s
Shall I give the order, sir? No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion! - What? - Congratulations, ogre. You've won the honour of embarking on a great and noble quest. Quest? I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back. - Your swamp? - Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures! - [Crowd Murmuring] - Indeed. All right, ogre, I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. Exactly the way it was? Down to the last slime-covered toad stool. - And the squatters? - As good as gone.
Shrek
2m26s
- [Gasping] - Oh! - Magic mirror-- - Don't tell him anything! No! - [Gingerbread Man Whimpers] - Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically you're not a king. Uh, Thelonius. - You were saying? - What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. - Go on. - [Chuckles] So,just sit back and relax, my Lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, faraway. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! And last, but certainly not least, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead... from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? - Two! Two! - Three! Three! - Two! Two! - Three! Three? One? [Shudders] Three? Three! Pick number three, my Lord! Okay, okay, uh, number three! Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. If you love pina coladas - And getting caught in the rain - Princess Fiona. - If you're not into yoga - She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go-- But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. - I'll do it. - Yes, but after sunset-- Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.
Shrek
36.8s
[Cheering] - [Twittering] - [Cheering Continues] Oh! You! You're coming with me. All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! - On the road again Sing it with me, Shrek. - Hey. Oh, oh! I can't wait to get on the road again What did I say about singing? - Can I whistle? - No. - Can I hum it? - All right, hum it. [Humming]
Shrek
26.6s
- Any one at all? - Me! Me! - Anyone? - Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! [Sighs] Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now... and get you all off my land and back where you came from!
Shrek