[RUSSELL EXHALES] RUSSELL: I know it's in there, I just need to get it out. Oh, Jesus Christ. I can hear you rummaging around in there. Do they make Purell for your ears? [SIREN WAILING]
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1.4s
I got one for you, too.
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9.2s
Like Cher or Todd. You gotta pump a baby in me first, cowboy. Yes, I do. Let's watch some porn and show that bed who's boss. Let's do that.
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19s
I'm gonna go make dessert. You get the strap-on. Let's make a super baby. Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try. VANESSA: What about Krystal? But with a "K"? [TIMER TICKING] It's too stripper-y. Kevin with a "K"! No, too stripper-y, too.
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3.3s
Happy anniversary, baby. Open, open, open.
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8.6s
Uh, Earl! [IN SLOW MOTION] He's gonna go straight to jail if we name him Earl. What about Bruce?
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1.8s
Open yours. All right, all right.
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9.9s
It's pretty fucking awesome over here. I can have anything I want. Can every day be International Women's Day? It is heaven. I love you.
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2.3s
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]
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3s
I've always seen myself as more of an East Coast Hufflepuff.
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2s
[GROANS]
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1.8s
Make friends with someone.
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8.5s
I don't have a sock puppet on me... but what did he do to you? Did he taste the rainbow? I'd whisper it, but Skittles would sue us.
Deadpool 2
35.8s
Russell. Russell, you're okay! Oh, thank God. Oh, my God! Juggernaut! [GASPS] I thought that was you! I should've worn my white pants. You probably get this a lot, but I am a huge fan. Uncanny X-Men183. Thor411. X-Men Unlimited12. You know, it has always been a dream of mine... to see my face reflected in your helmet... as you charge at me with murderous intent. I don't mean right now. I'm gonna rip you in half now. [LAUGHS] That is such a Juggernaut thing to say. [DEADPOOL SCREAMING]
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1.8s
That was our cell.
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1.2s
Orphans.
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1.5s
It's fulfilling work.
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1m22s
That's exactly what she meant. Your heart needs to be in the right place. I'm not gonna abandon this kid. He's never had anyone, ever. I need to be selfless. Yeah, but what does that mean? It means I'm gonna save Russell. Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa... but maybe I can save a robust teenager from New Zealand. Yeah, but what I mean is, like, the world "selfless." I literally don't know what that means. Jesus Christ. Okay, look. According to my guy, okay... those muties are being transferred to a supermax, 80 miles away. Great, I'll pick 'em off along the way. Hold your testicles there, buddy, okay? We're talking about an armored convoy... and a vicious super soldier from the future... that is looking to turn your skull into a fuckable ashtray. You know what we need to do? We need to build a fucking team. We need 'em tough, morally flexible... and young enough so they can carry this franchise 10 to 12 years. A team of highly-skilled motherfuckers. I'm talking about some Ocean's 14shit. Rogue Two. John Wick 3,but with the original director. DOPINDER: My body is an instrument of death. Not now, Dopinder. I could be of great use. What's your superpower? Courage. That's adorable. Do you have the courage to check and see... if there are enough sanitary napkins in the dispenser? Yes, sir. I'm sorry you had to see that, although I'm glad you heard it. All right, I'll put out a call for resumes. But we're not paying medical or dental. It's time to get back on LinkedIn.