Found 636 results
35s
Oh, Jesus Christ! I thought you were gonna kiss me for a second there. Please know I wouldn't be able to stop you if you did. Wade, whoever they are... we track them down and bring them to justice. It was me. I'm the asshole who got away. I killed every last one of them, except me. Couldn't kill me. We were gonna start a family. We were, uh... [SNIFFLES] [CLEARS THROAT] We were gonna be a family.
Deadpool 2
22.2s
[GRUNTS] I should have left you in the self-pitying mess I found you in. But this is what friends do. They show up! Not when convenient or easy. When hard, and you always make it hard. [BREATHING HEAVILY] You are unwell. I'm sticking my neck out bringing you here. [STRAINING] Wait. One of the assholes who killed Vanessa got away.
Deadpool 2
31.2s
What the fuck? You'd think the studio would throw us a bone. One that doesn't end up in my mouth. The first movie made more money than the guy who invented pants. They can't just dust off one of the famous X-Men? How 'bout that putz with the giant pigeon wings? What do those do anyway, huh? Carry him three feet off the ground to snatch up the nearest muffin crumb? [DOORS CLOSE] No, no, no! I am not X-Man material at all. First off... [BREATHES DEEPLY] I'm not even a virgin. Second and more... [GROANS]
Deadpool 2
19.8s
[OBJECTS SHATTERING] Those were already damaged after they fell there! What am I supposed to do around here, anyway? Sit in a share circle, talk about my feelings? And how would I do that exactly? 'Cause where the fuck is everyone? It's always just you and Negasonic Teenage Longest Name Ever... Enough! [GASPS] I said no touching!
Deadpool 2
24.6s
Bye, Wade! Now, some ground rules while under our roof. "Rule number one. No killing... "anyone ever, no matter how bad. "Rule two. Label everything in refrigerator." Wade? Wade? Don't try to chase me. Wade! I'm not ready to be touched again. All these old guys on the wall. Who lives here, Calista Flockhart?
Deadpool 2
1m11s
MAN: I'mma tell you what the big lie is. [ESCAPEPLAYING ON RADIO] Toilet paper. What's so bad about toilet paper? Gets the job done. Does it really get the job done? All right. Say you wake up tomorrow morning... and, hypothetically, find some fresh shit on your face. Your cheek, maybe a little bit in the beard. What the hell? I'm about to be fucking sick! What do you do? Do you go to a bathroom and tear off a piece of dry tissue... and rub it around on your beard a little bit and then go on, get on with your day? Go to church, maybe dinner and a movie, like nothing happened? Where is this coming from, man? But something did happen. Your face smells like shit. Right? So what you would do, is you would get some soap, you'd get some hot water... and you would scrub the fucking shit out of your beard for 10 straight minutes. You could not scrub it enough. Are you trying to make me feel disgusting? I'm starting to feel... Toilet paper is a pretty fine appetizer. But, then... Huggies Natural Care wet wipes. That's your main course. They're soft, they're moist. They're for babies. Finally, one more pass with toilet paper, maybe clear out that excess moisture. Maybe treat yourself to a blow and go, if you can get you a hair dryer. Just about 30 seconds would do you good.
Deadpool 2