That's because we didn't go to Napa. - Stu. What the fuck is going on? - We went to Las Vegas. Oh, really? Las Vegas? Why would you go to Las Vegas? My friend was getting married. That's what guys do. - Okay, that's not what you do. - Really? Well, then why did I do it, huh? Because I did it. Riddle me that. Why'd I do it? All you want me to do is what you want me to do. I'm sick of doing what you want. In a healthy relationship, a guy should be able to do what he wants. - That is not how this works! STU: Oh, good. Because whatever this is ain't working for me! MELISSA: Oh, really? STU: Yeah. Since when? Since you fucked that waiter on your cruise last June. Boom! - You told me it was a bartender. - Oh, you're right. I stand corrected. It was a bartender. You fucked a bartender. You're an idiot. You're... You... [GROANS] You're such a bad person. Like, all the way through to your core.
The Hangover
1.9s
[CHEERING]
The Hangover
1m38s
STU: And 100, 200, 300, 400. With all this, that's $82,400. - Oh, goddamn it. I don't fucking believe it. - Whoo! - Alan, you're the man. - You are too, Phil. We should come back next week, take the whole city down. Oh, I'm free next week. Or we could just focus on getting Doug back, right now. Uh, you know what? Next week's no good, the Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that is totally fine. I think it's safe to say that our luck has officially turned around, guys. - We are back, baby. We are fucking back. - We're back. Classic. [SINGING] We are back, we are back PHIL: That's right. We are getting Doug back And we're the three best friends That anybody could have We're the three best friends That anyone could have We're the three best friends That anyone can have And we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever Leave each other We're the best three friends That anybody could have I mean, the three best friends That anybody could have That's right, the three best friends That anybody can have PHIL: Now what? - Give him the signal. - What signal? - Flash your lights. Let him know it's on. - What's on? - The deal. Of course it's on. We just drove 30 miles into the desert. He knows it's on. Phil, just do something.
The Hangover
6.4s
Okay, this is interesting. Your blood work came in this morning. Wow.
The Hangover
3.6s
- Tell me what? - Careful, Doug. These women...
The Hangover
10.8s
- You wanted to see me? - Yeah. - Congratulations, buddy. - Congratulations to you. - You had us worried there for a second. - Sorry. How was Vegas?
The Hangover
13.7s
[SIGHS] It's not gonna be like that. Besides, you know how I feel about that. I know, I know. It's just boys and their bachelor parties, it's gross. You're right, it is gross. Mm-mm.
The Hangover
28.4s
- You sure? I mean, you love this car. - Doug, it's just a car. Just make sure to put some Armor All on the tires so the sand doesn't seep in. Absolutely. That's easy. Oh, and, uh, don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him. DOUG: Understood. Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him. I will be the only one driving this car. I promise. Good. Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
The Hangover
4.1s
- Remember to put Armor All on the tires? - Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
The Hangover
2s
MELISSA: Don't forget your Rogaine.
The Hangover
7.4s
- Yeah. - Why would I ever need, like... - You're right. And if you ever do... - What? ...I will fucking kick your ass.
The Hangover
17.4s
Using of the Rogaine, check. Make sure to call me right when you get to the hotel... ...not like that conference in Phoenix. I had to wait two hours for you to call me. Yeah, I was the keynote speaker. I was late to the podium. - Still? - Yeah, you're totally right. I'm sorry.
The Hangover
2.1s
Hey, Sid.
The Hangover
7.2s
- Stu? You avoiding me? - Hey. Melissa. Oh, my God. What happened to your tooth?
The Hangover
13.2s
And you know what else, honestly? Why would I risk this for, you know, a couple of minutes... ...of some 19-year-old hard body in a schoolgirl outfit?
The Hangover
11.9s
STUDENT: Hold on, I got it. Ahem, do you have to park so close? - Yeah. What's wrong? - I shouldn't be here. Why is that, Alan? I'm not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school.
The Hangover
15.1s
- What is the matter? MELISSA: I don't know. I hope you're not gonna go to some strip club when you're up there. STU: Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley. I don't even think they have strip clubs in wine country. Well, I'm sure if there is one, Phil will sniff it out.