I'm gonna talk about Aaron. Before we started working together, my show barely broke the top 15. So I called this professor at the Columbia School of Journalism... that I was having sex with, and I said: "I need someone smarter than anyone in entertainment! I need a real journalist!"
The Interview
24s
What do I do? Comm One, are you seeing this? Zoom in on that thing. What is that? There's something crawling towards Aardvark. What the fuck? What is it? Talk to me. I'm seeing four legs connected to one body. What the fuck are you seeing? - Dog? Big dog? - A big dog? It's like Clifford size. We're talking Falkor in The Neverending Story. It's like a dragon dog. This is like a dragon dog.
The Interview
4.2s
Okay. Okay. Oh, fuck.
The Interview
9.6s
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting through the wind Wanting to start again?
The Interview
17.6s
Thank you! Face it, Dave, you have failed. You've made wild allegations, but you have proven nothing. You made this long journey just to show the world that they were right about you. You are incapable of conducting a real interview. You're a joke!
The Interview
3.3s
- Pussy. - Oh, my God.
The Interview
6.1s
Fucked more women than Ellen DeGeneres. Now, it's time for the North Korean people to get their dicks wet.
The Interview
6.5s
I will cap you! I'm exploding with energy. I can't believe this. I feel so alive right now. This is so real.
The Interview
1.4s
Why?
The Interview
2.3s
- For me? - For you.
The Interview
1.6s
Fake carrots.
The Interview
5.7s
Your father... deprived you of life's simplest pleasures.
The Interview
6.7s
He's just like Digby. Just like Digby. - I think I'm gonna die. Oh, my God. - Don't die, please.
The Interview
32.9s
My wife must have put that in there. - I've never heard this before in my life. - I love Katy Perry! Baby, you're a firework Come on, show them what you're worth I love... I listen to this all the time. - Really? - I love her! You know why I really like her? She has such a strong message... for young women and girls across the planet. It's so empowering. Yeah. You know, Dave, sometimes I feel like a plastic bag.
