Me? I'd given up being a superhero because it was way too dangerous. Only problem, I was dying of boredom. Like most high school seniors, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Hell, I didn't know what channel I wanted to watch. It's just TV, Dave, not peace in the Middle East. My best friends Todd and Marty had no clue I was the first superhero to go public. You guys watch Spider-Man last night? Is it weird that Aunt May gets me kinda hard? Not if you're a granny-slammer. They may wear costumes, but it isn't Halloween. They're real life superheroes, and in the two years since the first ordinary citizens donned capes and masks, the movement has started to spread. I became a superhero because of Kick-Ass. Yeah, you just come home from work, you grab your gear and you go out on patrol. Help us make the streets safe.
Kick-Ass 2
2.7s
Okay. Good, I don't wanna do it. Fine.
Kick-Ass 2
5s
If I ever catch you robbing again, shit-burger, I'm gonna go Saudi Arabia on your ass and cut your hand off.
Kick-Ass 2
6.4s
What do you think? I think you almost got me killed! No. What do you think of my line? "Pants on fire." I wrote a whole bunch of 'em.
Kick-Ass 2
8.7s
Let me take your temperature first. Oh, you're really clammy. I'll feel better after a nap-nap. Close your eyes. I'm gonna get you that soup.
Kick-Ass 2
1.8s
Come on, man. Come on.
Kick-Ass 2
3.3s
Hit Girl? That's not who you are.
Kick-Ass 2
3s
Run! I'll tell them you saved me. Go!
Kick-Ass 2
17.6s
Well, hopefully you won't have to. I friended a guy talking about forming a team, if you're interested. I don't know how serious he is, but his picture was pretty hard core. Are you kidding me? That's why I contacted you. I didn't wanna freak you out by bringing it up too soon. I'll show you his profile after I hit the men's room.
Kick-Ass 2
4.1s
Cross my heart, hope to die.
Kick-Ass 2
1.6s
Left, right, left!
Kick-Ass 2
3s
Definitely don't wanna keep those! I'll take care of it.
Kick-Ass 2
6.5s
Man, am I glad to see you. Is there anything I can do to help, sir? Yeah. I was hoping you can help me get a million hits on YouTube.
Kick-Ass 2
3.9s
Cross my heart, hope to die.
Kick-Ass 2
10.4s
Yeah, I knew I recognized your voice. No, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know no Marty. New guy. Hey, asshole, it's me, Dave.