- I want snipers trained on that building! - You bet! - I want water and air support, yesterday! - Ahoy, sir! And I need SWAT here now! Phone call for Commissioner Gordon. Hello? Batman? Hi, Jimmy! It's the Jokes. Oop! Nobody calls you that. Yes, people do call me that. Okay, listen up. Go, go, go! At this very moment, an unnecessarily complicated bomb is being attached to the inside of the main energy core. If the mayor isn't here in five minutes to negotiate the city's surrender, then I shall destroy Gotham City. I did something! Doctor, that sounds frightening and overly complicated. Talk us through it.
The Lego Batman Movie
31.7s
Madam Mayor! Thanks for dropping by. I've only got one thing to say to you, Joker. Well, you better make it fast. Do you like to gamble? Oh, I certainly do. Do you ever play roulette? On occasion. Well, let me give you a word of advice. I'm all ears. When playing roulette... Yes? ...always bet on black. Batman? What are you doing? You're completely outnumbered here! Are you nuts? You wanna get nuts? Come on! Let's get nuts!
The Lego Batman Movie
4.2s
What is the password? Iron Man sucks. Thank you.
The Lego Batman Movie
9.5s
Hi, Batman! So weird to keep running into you. Batman!
The Lego Batman Movie
2.1s
Thanks, Batman. You're my hero!
The Lego Batman Movie
2.9s
Batman! Batman! Batman!
The Lego Batman Movie
1.2s
I love it.
The Lego Batman Movie
1.2s
No way!
The Lego Batman Movie
1m35s
Oh! Alfred! I am so sorry. I have incredible reflexes. No, it's all my fault, sir. I should have known better than to sneak up on you like that. Sorry, I was just lost in thought, and as you know, when I'm in there, I'm in deep. Were you looking at the old family pictures again? At the what? The old family... Oh, yes! I see what you mean. Look at that! The old gang. Yeah. No, I wasn't. I see. Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I'm a little concerned. I've seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1966. Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now? I don't talk about feelings, Alfred. I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent. And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy. Good night, Alfred. Sir, it's morning. Master Bruce, you live on an island, figuratively and literally. Yeah. I love it. You can't spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, listening to angry music, and staying up all night. Yes, I can, 'cause I'm Batman. But don't you think it's time you finally faced your greatest fear? - Snakes? - No. - Clowns? - No. Snake clowns? Bruce, listen.
The Lego Batman Movie
31.7s
Nope. Now it's snake clowns, because you put that idea in my head. - Sir? - Time for push-ups! One, two... We're going to 1,000. I'm afraid that's not possible, sir. It is possible. I'm already at 20. You're scheduled to go to Jim Gordon's retirement party. What? No. I don't wanna do that. - You're going to have a great time! - No, no, no. You might meet some new people! No, no, no! You could even make some new friends. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No! And before you go, we can do your favorite thing.
The Lego Batman Movie
43s
So, when people ask you "Who's your number one bad guy?" you say... Superman. Are you seriously saying that there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship? Whoa. Let me tell you something, J-bird. - Batman doesn't do 'ships. - What? As in "relationships." There is no "us." Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You mean nothing to me. No one does.
The Lego Batman Movie
6.1s
Looks like your plan failed. Well, it's only a matter of time before I take over Gotham City.
The Lego Batman Movie
6.4s
'Cause this time I got you. Oh, yeah? Well, there's only one problem.
The Lego Batman Movie
6s
When has that ever happened? Computer! Calculating. Never.