REPORTER: ...several police cars were destroyed and the X-Men were called in to restore order.
Deadpool 2
36.4s
Sorry I'm late. There was a bunch of handicapable children stuck in a tree... and I had to, uh... Uh-uh. You're right. I was fighting a caped badass. But then we discovered his mom is named Martha, too. No.You got me. I was rounding up all the gluten in the world and launching it into space... where it can't not hurt us ever again. Try again. Diarrhea? We can't be sure until I get this suit off... but, uh, all signs point to yes. Traffic? Hmm? Kiss me like you miss me, Red. Well, come here.
Deadpool 2
6.1s
May. Connor, if it's a boy. May, if it's a girl.
Deadpool 2
4.1s
No. Get down. What? [GUN FIRES]
Deadpool 2
6.7s
WADE: Rock... meet bottom.
Deadpool 2
1.9s
Maybe I can get you out of here.
Deadpool 2
1.9s
[TAKE ON MEPLAYING]
Deadpool 2
25.9s
Oh... That's just the most beautiful thing that I've... I don't know what this is. My IUD. A bomb? No, dick for brains. My birth control device. What, you mean that your... Baby factory's open for business. Oh, my God! [BOX CLATTERS] [VANESSA LAUGHS] Oh, my God! I want a boy! Or a little girl! Definitely one or the other! Oh! And I want our kid to have only one name.
Deadpool 2
5.6s
In the sky. You're my Tom Cruise! DEADPOOL: And you're my Kristen Dunst! Kristen? Kirsten?
Deadpool 2
1.5s
[BREATHING HEAVILY] [ALARM BLARING]
Deadpool 2
9.8s
I could get used to this X-Man shit. NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD: Trainee! DEADPOOL: Trainee! OFFICER: Get a power restraint on him. Now! DEADPOOL: Calm down, squirt. It's over. We got ya.
Deadpool 2
12.8s
[RUSSELL EXHALES] RUSSELL: I know it's in there, I just need to get it out. Oh, Jesus Christ. I can hear you rummaging around in there. Do they make Purell for your ears? [SIREN WAILING]
Deadpool 2
1.4s
I got one for you, too.
Deadpool 2
9.2s
Like Cher or Todd. You gotta pump a baby in me first, cowboy. Yes, I do. Let's watch some porn and show that bed who's boss. Let's do that.
Deadpool 2
19s
I'm gonna go make dessert. You get the strap-on. Let's make a super baby. Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try. VANESSA: What about Krystal? But with a "K"? [TIMER TICKING] It's too stripper-y. Kevin with a "K"! No, too stripper-y, too.
Deadpool 2
3.3s
Happy anniversary, baby. Open, open, open.
Deadpool 2
8.6s
Uh, Earl! [IN SLOW MOTION] He's gonna go straight to jail if we name him Earl. What about Bruce?
