Found 147 results
2m11s
[Fire Crackling] And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look, there's BITNET, the Fitment. - You can guess what he's famous for. - I know you're making this up. No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. That is nothing but a bunch of little dots. Sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it. [Sighs] Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? Our swamp? You know, when we're through rescuing the princess. We? Donkey, there's no we. There's no our. There's just me and my swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land. You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. - No, do ya think? - Are you hiding something? Never mind, Donkey. Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it-alone things. - Why don't you want to talk about it? - Why do you want to? - Why are you blocking? - I'm not blocking. - Oh, yes, you are. - Donkey, I'm warning you. - Who you trying to keep out? - Everyone! Okay? Oh, now we're getting somewhere. Oh! For the love of Pete! What's your problem? What you got against the whole world? I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go, Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly ogre! [Sighs] They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
Shrek
47.4s
Shall I give the order, sir? No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion! - What? - Congratulations, ogre. You've won the honour of embarking on a great and noble quest. Quest? I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back. - Your swamp? - Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures! - [Crowd Murmuring] - Indeed. All right, ogre, I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. Exactly the way it was? Down to the last slime-covered toad stool. - And the squatters? - As good as gone.
Shrek
2m26s
- [Gasping] - Oh! - Magic mirror-- - Don't tell him anything! No! - [Gingerbread Man Whimpers] - Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically you're not a king. Uh, Thelonius. - You were saying? - What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. - Go on. - [Chuckles] So,just sit back and relax, my Lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, faraway. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! And last, but certainly not least, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead... from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? - Two! Two! - Three! Three! - Two! Two! - Three! Three? One? [Shudders] Three? Three! Pick number three, my Lord! Okay, okay, uh, number three! Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. If you love pina coladas - And getting caught in the rain - Princess Fiona. - If you're not into yoga - She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go-- But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. - I'll do it. - Yes, but after sunset-- Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.
Shrek
36.8s
[Cheering] - [Twittering] - [Cheering Continues] Oh! You! You're coming with me. All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! - On the road again Sing it with me, Shrek. - Hey. Oh, oh! I can't wait to get on the road again What did I say about singing? - Can I whistle? - No. - Can I hum it? - All right, hum it. [Humming]
Shrek
26.6s
- Any one at all? - Me! Me! - Anyone? - Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! [Sighs] Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now... and get you all off my land and back where you came from!
Shrek
1m43s
Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. [Laughing] Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said ogres have layers? Oh, aye. Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. - Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. - You know what I mean. You can't tell me you're afraid of heights. I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava! Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support, we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. - Really? - Really, really. - Okay, that makes me feel so much better. -Just keep moving. - And don't look down. - Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. [Gasps] Shrek! I'm looking down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please! - But you're already halfway. - But I know that half is safe! Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. - Shrek, no! Wait! -Just, Donkey-- - Let's have a dance then, shall we? - Don't do that! Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? - Oh, this? - Yes, that! Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. [Screams] No, Shrek! - No! Stop it! - You said do it! I'm doing it. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh! That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
Shrek