Found 147 results
38.6s
- [Gasps] - Oh! - What is that? - [Gasping] - It's hideous! - Ah, that's not very nice. - It's just a donkey. - Huh? Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him! - Get him! - Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. [Woman] Go ahead! Get him! Can't we just settle this over a pint? [Man] Kill the beast! No? All right then. Come on!
Shrek
1m1s
Princess Fiona. As promised. Now hand it over. Very well, ogre. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. Take it and go before I change my mind. Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I am Lord Farquaad. Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no. - [Snaps Fingers] - Forgive me, my Lord, for I was just saying... a short... farewell. That is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the ogre. It's not like it has feelings. No, you're right. It doesn't. Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona. - I ask your hand in marriage. - [Gasps] Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
Shrek
1m47s
- Take it away! - [Gasps] - Move it along. Come on! Get up! - Next! Give me that! Your flying days are over. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! - Get up! Come on! - Twenty pieces. - [Thudding] - Sit down there! - Keep quiet! - [Crying] This cage is too small. Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! - Oh, shut up. - Oh! - Next! - What have you got? - This little wooden puppet. I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. Five shillings for the possessed toy. - Take it away. - Father, please! Don't let them do this! - Help me! - Next. What have you got? - Well, I've got a talking donkey. - [Grunts] Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. Oh, go ahead, little fella. Well? Oh, oh, he's just-- He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you bone headed dolt-- -That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! - No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. - Get her out of my sight. - No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! [Gasps] Hey! I can fly! - He can fly! - He can fly! - He can talk! - Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a house fly, maybe even a super fly, but I bet you are not never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! Uh-oh. [Grunts] Seize him!
Shrek
1m0s
- Go! - Go! - [Record Scratching] - Go. Go. Go. Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mould - Think it's in there? - AI right. Let's get it! Whoa. Ho Id on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread. [Laughs] Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres-- They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. - No! - They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! - Actually, it's quite good on toast. - Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
Shrek
26.6s
[Grunting] - Hey! Over here. - Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a princess. No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. - Homey touches? Like what? - [Crashing] A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will. I said good night!
Shrek
2m8s
I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow... before the sun sets and he sees me... like this. [Sobs] All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Well, I am not gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7. But, Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look. Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad? I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell. But, you know, um, you're kind of an ogre, and Shrek-- well, you got a lot in common. Shrek? Princess, I-- Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and-- well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd-- uh, uh-- [Sighs] I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go. [Fiona] I can't just marry whoever want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I mean, really, who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? Princessand ugly don't go together. - That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. - [Gasps] My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my truelove. - [Deep Sigh] - Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. - You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. - No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know. What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets? Promise you won't tell. Promise! All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. - Look at my eye twitching. - [Door Opens]
Shrek
2m11s
[Fire Crackling] And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look, there's BITNET, the Fitment. - You can guess what he's famous for. - I know you're making this up. No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. That is nothing but a bunch of little dots. Sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it. [Sighs] Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? Our swamp? You know, when we're through rescuing the princess. We? Donkey, there's no we. There's no our. There's just me and my swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land. You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. - No, do ya think? - Are you hiding something? Never mind, Donkey. Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it-alone things. - Why don't you want to talk about it? - Why do you want to? - Why are you blocking? - I'm not blocking. - Oh, yes, you are. - Donkey, I'm warning you. - Who you trying to keep out? - Everyone! Okay? Oh, now we're getting somewhere. Oh! For the love of Pete! What's your problem? What you got against the whole world? I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go, Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly ogre! [Sighs] They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
Shrek
47.4s
Shall I give the order, sir? No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion! - What? - Congratulations, ogre. You've won the honour of embarking on a great and noble quest. Quest? I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back. - Your swamp? - Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures! - [Crowd Murmuring] - Indeed. All right, ogre, I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. Exactly the way it was? Down to the last slime-covered toad stool. - And the squatters? - As good as gone.
Shrek