Found 147 results
2m19s
Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort... which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle... guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep... in the highest room of the tallest tower... for her true love and true love's first kiss. [Laughing] Like that's ever gonna happen. - [Paper Rustling, Toilet Flushes] - What a load of-- Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I am not the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an L on her forehead The years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do So much to see So what's wrong with taking the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mould It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored - Hey, now, you're an all-star - [Shouting] Get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mould [Belches]
Shrek
58s
Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man! - You're a monster. - I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others? - Eat me! - [Grunts] I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll-- No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. All right then. Who's hiding them? Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? - The muffin man? - The muffin man. Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? Well, she's married to the muffin man. - The muffin man? - The muffin man! - She's married to the muffin man. - [Door Opens] My Lord! We found it. Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. [Man Grunting]
Shrek
1m39s
[Clattering, Whirring, Clicking] [Clicking] [Clicking Quickens] Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town Here we have some rules Let us lay them down Don't make waves, stay in line and we'll get along fine DuLoc is a perfect place Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face DuLoc is, DuLoc is DuLoc is a perfect - Place - [Camera Shutter Clicks] [Whirring] Wow! Let's do that again! No. No. No, no, no! No. [Trumpet Fanfare] - [Crowd Cheering] - [Farquaad] Brave knights. - You are the best and brightest in all the land. - [Donkey Humming] Today one of you shall prove himself-- All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom. - Sorry about that. - [Cheering] That champion shall have the honour-- no, no-- the privilege... to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona... from the fiery keep oft he dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place... and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. [Cheering]
Shrek
54.9s
[Growls] No. Oh, no. No! [Screams] - Oh, what large teeth you have. - [Growls] I mean, white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're-- You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ooh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but, you know, I'm, uh-- [Coughs] I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings. Shrek! [Gasps] [Whimpering] No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
Shrek
26.6s
- Any one at all? - Me! Me! - Anyone? - Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! [Sighs] Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now... and get you all off my land and back where you came from!
Shrek
1m0s
[Donkey Whispering] You afraid? No, but-- Shh. Oh, good. Me neither. [Gasps] 'Cause there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. I sure as heck am not a coward. I know that. [Gasps] Donkey, two things, okay? Shut... up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. Stairs? I thought we was looking for the princess. The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. - What makes you think she'll be there? - I read it in a book once. Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going. [Creaking]
Shrek
2m1s
[Donkey] Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon... and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp... which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. - Is that about right? - Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip. Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village... and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? Uh, no, not really, no. For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. - Example? - Example? - Okay, um, ogres are like onions. - [Sniffs] They stink? - Yes-- No! - They make you cry? - No! You leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sprouting little white hairs. No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. [Sighs] Oh, you both have layers. Oh. [Sniffs] You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, Let's get some parfait, they say, No, I don't like no parfait? - Parfaits are delicious. - No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. See ya later. Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start slobbering.
Shrek