Now, wait just a minute. Stifler wanted to give you two hand jobs? No. Stifler wanted one from us. What? Bullshit. He did. And it was horrible. Very horrible. You guys, you wanna play some "asshole"? Just watching the game, Kev. I just wanna do something together. We just did something together. Very together. Ho, ho, ho. Stifler Claus is here. Now, just so there's no confusion... Santa Porn has just brought us some heterosexual entertainment.
American Pie 2
11.6s
All right. Here. And the Stifmeister's provided us some complimentary lubricant. Whack away, Jim. Does this stuff really make a difference? - Oh, yeah! - Really?
American Pie 2
7.5s
It's not like I wanted you to pretend you were in love with me or something. Why would I pretend that? Guys do that.
American Pie 2
9.2s
Michèle, why did you ditch me after prom? I didn't ditch you. I just... Our date was over.
American Pie 2
5.1s
I mean, did you want some... funky, weird, next-morning goodbye?
American Pie 2
2.7s
Well, I wish you were here, Nadia.
American Pie 2
2.4s
Let me try that dildo.
American Pie 2
2.2s
Dung beetles.
American Pie 2
2.4s
Cleaning my bathroom.
American Pie 2
1.3s
Mastodons.
American Pie 2
31.5s
- Now, this is a fucked-up situation. - What happened to preheating? - We're skipping a few chapters. - Oh, okay. This is good. This is good. Obviously. - Gilligan's island, Mr Howell. - What? You've got to control yourself and think of something nonsexual. I haven't even touched you yet, and you're turning into the Sears Tower. I'm sorry. Yeah, nonsexual. Right, right. Okay. - Chairs. - Good.
American Pie 2
1.1s
Stand up.
American Pie 2
3.9s
Call me in two weeks. I'll be home then. We can finish lessons.
American Pie 2
14.6s
Okay. Now, don't freak out. I'm gonna do something to push your threshold. Oh, that's cold! What are you doing? I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun? Okay, I think you've just crossed my threshold.
American Pie 2
21.5s
- What is it? A guest book? - Yeah, and look at this entry. "Best thing was the blow-out at Tom Myers' place. - There he is. - A night not soon to be forgotten. August '93." It's your brother, man. Look. Yeah, his cottage was right down on the beach. Guys, this is what our party's gotta be. - Something we'll always remember. - Yes, definitely. Absolutely.
American Pie 2
13s
Do I seem uptight about my sexual stuff? No. The biggest pointer I could give you is... you have to feel comfortable in any situation. Stand up.