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35.9s

Now, wait just a minute. Stifler wanted to give you two hand jobs? No. Stifler wanted one from us. What? Bullshit. He did. And it was horrible. Very horrible. You guys, you wanna play some "asshole"? Just watching the game, Kev. I just wanna do something together. We just did something together. Very together. Ho, ho, ho. Stifler Claus is here. Now, just so there's no confusion... Santa Porn has just brought us some heterosexual entertainment.

American Pie 2

12.4s

Sorry. Relax your hands. I'll take it from here, okay? Don't worry, Jimbo. You're gonna be fine, buddy. Jim, this happens to the best of us.

American Pie 2

23.9s

Thank you. Okay? My son... is sitting here right now... with his hand glued to his penis! But that doesn't mean anything to you, does it? Because you don't have a penis! - Or maybe you do! - Dad! Sorry. I'm sorry. You know, it just bugs me when people speak before they think.

American Pie 2

17.6s

Excuse me, sir. Are you a family member? Fuck, no! This is just too good to miss! Okay, sir, you're just gonna have to wait here. All right? This summer's turned out to be great.

American Pie 2

4.2s

Stifmeister's palace of love... straight love.

American Pie 2

11.6s

All right. Here. And the Stifmeister's provided us some complimentary lubricant. Whack away, Jim. Does this stuff really make a difference? - Oh, yeah! - Really?

American Pie 2

1.1s

"Dear Jim.

American Pie 2

7.5s

It's not like I wanted you to pretend you were in love with me or something. Why would I pretend that? Guys do that.

American Pie 2

31.5s

- Now, this is a fucked-up situation. - What happened to preheating? - We're skipping a few chapters. - Oh, okay. This is good. This is good. Obviously. - Gilligan's island, Mr Howell. - What? You've got to control yourself and think of something nonsexual. I haven't even touched you yet, and you're turning into the Sears Tower. I'm sorry. Yeah, nonsexual. Right, right. Okay. - Chairs. - Good.

American Pie 2

17.2s

Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm fine. - How about you? - That's Stifler's mom. Silence. I didn't really think you were gonna be in Michigan this summer. Yeah, you're more than welcome to be here. Okay, stop by in a couple of weeks. We're having a big party. Okay, bye. Stifler, was that...

American Pie 2

58s

Mucilage is dangerous territory... and I would think any adhesive product... would have a warning right on the tube. I thought it was a lubricant. I was trying to use lubricant. Son, couldn't you have left that disgusting thing at home? Excuse me? Well, that kind of material is offensive to me. Oh, well, we're sorry. But, you see, my son couldn't leave it at home... because he's having a bit of a medical emergency. Thanks, Dad. Your opinion of his taste in video rentals, I'm afraid... is not a priority, lady. It's at the bottom of the totem pole.

American Pie 2

8.2s

Don't move! Stay where you are! Hands where we can see 'em! Both hands! Get the other hand up, God damn it!

American Pie 2

1.3s

Mastodons.

American Pie 2

1.7s

Of course.

American Pie 2

8s

Good, Jim. You're making me wet. Holy shit. Really? No, I was just saying that so you could practice.

American Pie 2

13s

Do I seem uptight about my sexual stuff? No. The biggest pointer I could give you is... you have to feel comfortable in any situation. Stand up.

American Pie 2

2.4s

Cleaning my bathroom.

American Pie 2

6.7s

Left foot first. Easy does it. Good. - Watch your head. - All right. Take a seat.

American Pie 2

Found 481 results

Sorry. Relax your hands. I'll take it from here, okay? Don't worry, Jimbo. You're gonna be fine, buddy. Jim, this happens to the best of us.

Thank you. Okay? My son... is sitting here right now... with his hand glued to his penis! But that doesn't mean anything to you, does it? Because you don't have a penis! - Or maybe you do! - Dad! Sorry. I'm sorry. You know, it just bugs me when people speak before they think.

Excuse me, sir. Are you a family member? Fuck, no! This is just too good to miss! Okay, sir, you're just gonna have to wait here. All right? This summer's turned out to be great.

Stifmeister's palace of love... straight love.

All right. Here. And the Stifmeister's provided us some complimentary lubricant. Whack away, Jim. Does this stuff really make a difference? - Oh, yeah! - Really?

"Dear Jim.

It's not like I wanted you to pretend you were in love with me or something. Why would I pretend that? Guys do that.

Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm fine. - How about you? - That's Stifler's mom. Silence. I didn't really think you were gonna be in Michigan this summer. Yeah, you're more than welcome to be here. Okay, stop by in a couple of weeks. We're having a big party. Okay, bye. Stifler, was that...

Don't move! Stay where you are! Hands where we can see 'em! Both hands! Get the other hand up, God damn it!

Mastodons.

Of course.

Good, Jim. You're making me wet. Holy shit. Really? No, I was just saying that so you could practice.

Do I seem uptight about my sexual stuff? No. The biggest pointer I could give you is... you have to feel comfortable in any situation. Stand up.

Cleaning my bathroom.

Left foot first. Easy does it. Good. - Watch your head. - All right. Take a seat.