Found 1530 results
52.7s
- Guess what? - Not interested. Kevin. Come on, man. The bus to Stifler's is gonna be here soon. - I'm not going. - What? Why not? Look, things didn't really turn out how I wanted them to. I mean, I don't even know what I'm doin'. I-I'm acting like I've got everything together tonight. I know that Vicky's gonna ask me if I love her, and... I don't know what I'm gonna say. I mean, I'm on the brink. I'm just about to do it. I should be psyched. I don't know. Maybe you're right. Maybe I am just scared. Come on, Kev. Tonight is the night. We-We are finally going to a post-prom party on the lake. We have been waiting for this for four years. Why else have we been friends with Stifler all this time, right?
American Pie
25.2s
So what are you gonna major in? State's got a good business school, and I could probably walk-on to the lacrosse team. Well, you've probably got it pretty figured out, then, huh? I mean, business is okay, and lacrosse is awesome, but... what am I gonna be, a professional lacrosse player? I really have no idea. Thank God. I thought I was the only one. Well, you're not.
American Pie
1m14s
What was that all about? - He's still embarrassed because Finch kicked his ass. - Who told you that? What do you mean, "no comment"? - Did you two hook up or something? - What, are you kidding? No. Then how did all this get started? Well, I guess it's all right for me to tell you now. That reputation of his isn't going anywhere. Cheese, please. Finch comes up to me and says, "Jessica, I need your help with this, blah, blah, etcetera." So I said, "All right. Pay me 200 bucks, and I'll tell a couple of girls that you're dynamite in bed." So he did, and I did. - That actually works? - Well, duh! Of course. Naturally, I embellished a little bit. Did you hear that Finch had an affair with an older woman? No, I didn't hear that one. That one was my favorite. Do that cheerleader. - # Thank you, baby # - She wants me. She calls me up... # How sweet it is to be loved by you ## Oh, my God, you're gay! Sing it with me. You know the words. No, thanks, man. You've been singin' that shit all week. If you try that at M.S.U. This Saturday, I'll kick your ass. Our last game is this Saturday. Yeah, well, shit.
American Pie
39.1s
This isn't the best way to proposition me. No, that's... That's not what I mean. W- What I mean is, uh... Look, do you know what made me leave that game? See, Coach, he was givin' us this speech about... not slacking off when you see the opportunity to score... This isn't any better, Chris. No, you see... You see, Heather, what I realized is that... with you, it's... not like I'm running towards a goal... looking for the best way to score. This may sound a little corny, but... I feel like I've already won.
American Pie
1m26s
Now, I just want you to know that it's-it's a perfectly normal, uh, thing. And I have to admit, uh, you know. I did a fair bit of masturbating when I was a little younger. - I, uh... I used to call it "stroking the salami." Yeah, you know, "pounding the ol' pud." I never did it with baked goods. But you know your Uncle Mort? He "pinched the one-eyed snake" five, six times a day. See, it's like, uh, practice for the big game. You see? It's like... It's like... banging a tennis ball against a brick wall. Which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game. - Right. No. - It's not a game. What you want is you want a partner to return the ball. - Do you want a partner? - Yeah. Yeah-Yeah, I want a partner. - You do want a partner? - Oh, I want a partner. - Want a partner. Good. Good. - Of course. Good. So, once Hal becomes king, he has to take on... the responsibilities of leadership and turn his back... on his old, drunken friend, Falstaff. You see, Hal is going through a... rite of passage, much like you all are. So make most of the time you've got left together. You'll miss it later. So, does your tongue cramp up? Nah. You get kind of dizzy, though. That's amazing. She's probably gonna want to do it soon.
American Pie
1m19s
Maybe the words aren't that important. It's like, I know he really cares about me, you know? Even if he can't say it, he does. And yeah, he always talks about sex, but that's okay, 'cause he's a guy, right? - He's got a dick. He's a guy. - Right. Wait. Is this translation right? "Go home, bird teacher. I've had enough." I don't know. I got it from Kevin. - So, does it hurt? - What? You know... sex. Does it hurt? Yeah. I mean, the first time you do it, you know, it hurts. But then you, you do it again and again and again... It just starts to feel good. Really good. Okay, so say I don't do it. And then I go off to college. I might end up doing it with some random guy... - who totally turns out to be a jerk. - This is true. And I'll wish I would've done it with Kevin. So go do it with Kevin. - You think? - Yeah. You're... You're ready. - You're woman. Look at you. You're ready for sex. - You're right. - I know. - I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna have sex. - Now. - And it's gonna be right, and it's gonna be just perfect. - Perfect sex. - Thanks, Jessica. Please. Kevin. Kevin.
American Pie