Hey, what are you doin' here? Just enjoying my first exhilarating lacrosse experience. - You kicked butt. - Oh, thanks. - Um, Chris... - Oh, you can call me Oz, if you want. - Do I have to? - You can call me Ostreicher. - What's your middle name? - Nah, forget it. - Come on. I won't tell anyone. - Well, neither will I. Okay. Um. So, I had this thought and... It may seem like it's way out of left field. I don't know if you can, but since I'm not going with anybody, I thought that maybe... Those guys sucked ass! Choir chick, what the hell are you doing here? Well, uh, I was asking Chris to prom. So, do you want to go? Oh, yeah! That would be great. Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo! Stifler, fuck! I mean... Why do you got to be so insensitive all the time? What? Whatever. Look, uh, don't forget. My cottage after prom. On Lake Michigan. Hey, wait up, you pussies. Where you goin'? Ah, well, I gotta... I gotta hit the showers now, but I think this is gonna be really, really good. - Yeah. Me too. - All right. - Bye. - Bye. Bye.
American Pie
27.8s
Stifler's mom got it in the divorce. That reminds me of this one time... Hey, can I ask you a question? How come you don't have any stories? I've got lots of them, and you don't have any. Oh, I've got stories. Believe me. They're just, uh... They're just a little more risque than tales of band camp. Are they gross or something? Like guy stuff? Tell me! Okay. You want a story? Here's a story. Stifler finds this beer...
American Pie
31.6s
Excuse me. Uh, that's Paul Finch, right? - Yeah. - Well, you've seen him in the locker room, right? - Uh, yeah. - So, my friends, they want to know. Is it true? You know, that he's... equipped. I have no idea. Finch showers with his bathing suit on. I mean, uh... As a matter of fact, it is true. The guy's huge! - Does he have a date for the prom yet? - No, definitely not. All right. Thanks.
American Pie
33.4s
You want a beer? - Oh, there we go. - Come on, move! Steve! It's my computer! And I wanna use it! Shut up! Oh, you need to... You need to change, right? - Uhh, do you mind? - No. N-No, not at all. Uh, please, you know. Just go ahead and get un... get changed. I'll, uh... I'll go downstairs and start studying up. - Yeah. - Okay. - Oh... - All right, there he goes. Now, we're in business. Now, we're in business.
American Pie
13.1s
That's not what I was thinking. Sex. It's always about sex. It's not always about sex. I just thought it was about sex this time.
American Pie
4.7s
- Jim! - It's not what it looks like.
American Pie
4.1s
All right. Class dismissed.
American Pie
3.4s
Ohh! I'm coming! I'm coming!
American Pie
14.1s
Here. Oh. Oh. - Again? - Not again. - Not again, man! - Is that possible? What a loser. What a loser.
American Pie
6.4s
Oz? Fuckface? Ostreicher!
American Pie
10.5s
- Where's your little date tonight? - No date. It was... It was a bathroom incident. - Pardon me? - Never mind.
American Pie
27.3s
- These are, uh... - Let me just clarify... - that you have no chance of scoring with me, Finch. - Of course not! So I take it you and Sherman are pretty close, huh? You met at that party a while back, right? Yeah, we were up all night together. We had one of those amazingly deep conversations... where you feel like you really get to know someone. Deep conversation, huh? Is that what you call it? What else would I call it?
American Pie
24.4s
- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?
American Pie
21.9s
Hey, Kevin. - You seen shit-brick lately? - Why? What did you do to him? Me? Nothing. See, I'm the one whose ass he kicked. But, uh, I'll tell you one thing, though. I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school anymore. Slipped a little something into his mochaccino.
American Pie
26.2s
Fellas, say good-bye to Chuck Sherman, the boy. I... am now a man. I highly recommend you join the club. We were doin' the wild thing... all night. I'm exhausted. I don't get it. I mean, how the hell did you do that? It was just my time. It was just my time. Best of luck to you boys.
American Pie
11.8s
I mean, I just can't believe we had our senior prom. I know. It went by so fast. Yeah, it did. Kevin?
American Pie
6.1s
- My dad's the manager. - Really? Cool. Tell him the subs are great.
American Pie
4.4s
- This is the nicest room in the house. - Kev, it's perfect.