Found 785 results

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I'm busy.

Ted 2

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What are you talking about? For the sperm.

Ted 2

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I'm sorry, Your Honor. I'm on my period.

Ted 2

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I'm sorry you're not who I hoped you'd be.

Ted 2

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What do you think that was about?

Ted 2

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So, we're gonna win this thing?

Ted 2

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Stupid idiot.

Ted 2

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(CRACKLING)

Ted 2

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Come on.

Ted 2

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What? Why not? Well, first of all, there's the question of Tami-Lynn's drug conviction. Hey, I did my community service. Yeah, besides, that was five years ago. She's clean.

Ted 2

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It's always gonna be empty. There's never gonna be a little foot in here. I don't understand. We would have made such great parents. (INHALES) Oh, my God.

Ted 2

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8.7s
(STUTTERS) Wait, Mr. Brady! Take your goddamn teddy bear with you! (TED YELLS) Holy shit! Perfect spiral! Come on, let's get out of here!

Ted 2

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I don't know, Ms. Jackson. We've done everything we can and it's all up to him now.

Ted 2

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JOHN: We're giving you the tools, buddy. Come on, make some fucking comedy.

Ted 2

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Goldner and the board cannot know about this until we have him.

Ted 2

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And when I have him, I'll call you with the code phrase.

Ted 2

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I really tried everything I could to be the man that she wanted.

Ted 2

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Oh, my God! He said he'll meet with us on Friday at 9:00 a.m. at his office in New York. Is he gonna take the case? I don't want to jinx it, but I think so. Oh, my God! You hear that, Johnny? (LAUGHS) I still get a shot! JOHN: Yes! Oh, my God! We got to celebrate! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Let's go down to the improv and yell sad suggestions? Fuck yeah! So first we need a historical event. Who's got an event? TED: 9/11. (STUTTERS) Okay, maybe something else. All right, let's start with a person. JOHN: Robin Williams! Okay, all right, for real, guys, for real. Who's got a person? TED: Robin Williams on 9/11. All right, we've heard from these guys. Let's maybe give somebody else over here a chance. How about a location? Let's go with a location. TED: The offices of Charlie Hebdo.

Ted 2